All I'll Ever Be Without You
by EmmaMary
Summary: Will Summer be able to handle a major tragedy without Seth by her side or will she be consumed into depression.MAJOR SS [Seth does not die]
1. Hapiness Been Ripped Away

**AN- Hey guys I'm back, how are you all, this story isn't a mystery, I'm actually not that good a writing mystery, Went To Far just came out ok. This is of course a SS story with some RM, there in their junior year right now and I really don't go along with all the events in the show so SS are together as with RM, I think not sure yet. I may change Summers Age later in the story so that she not 18 when she should be. I promise AN's won't be as long in this story but this one will be cause it's the first one. I think Danielle will be my beta but not for this chap. Other chapters will be longer. I realize writing is my emotional outlet. I will have at LEAST one chap up per week, cause its my first year of HS so I am busy.**

**My title is borrowed from MegasterMog, or at least the _all I'll ever be part. _Her story "That's All I'll Ever Be" made me cry, but it's a Harry Potter one shot.**

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Disclaimer- I do not own anything The OC related, and like I said this is only an emotional outlet of me and I am making no profit whatsoever. THIS GOES FOR THE WHOLE STORY!

It was 9 o'clock on Saturday night. Seth Cohen had had a craving for milk and cookies but they were out of milk so he took the keys to his moms range rover and made a stop at the dairy to pick some up. His parents were on a date tonight, why they had to say date even though they were already married had intrigued Seth, but they had insisted it sounded more romantic than dinner. He threw open the door into his spacious home and walked into the kitchen and placed the milk on the counter. He walked over to the pantry to retrieve the cookies, he opened the cabinet door and reached in for them, grabbed the chocolate chip goodness and closed the door, when he did he jumped back in shock, standing there clad in jeans and one of his hoodies was a gorgeous petite brunette girl.

"Jeez Summer you gave me a heart attack" Seth said as he recovered from the initial shock of his girlfriend appearing behind the door.

"Sorry" she mumbled not meeting his gaze.

"How did you get in here?"

"Your back door was unlocked"

"Oh ok" he paused, he could tell something was wrong with her. "Hey are you okay"

"I had a major fight with my dad"

"About what"

Summer padded her way over to the couch and Seth followed sitting beside her. She turned to face him one leg bent and completely resting on the couch.

"He left for a trip"

"Ok"

"He didn't tell me"

"Oh"

"It wasn't even planned"

"hm"

"I got home today, after going to the mall with Marissa and he wasn't home, so I asked our maid who was over if she knew where he was and she said Seattle, and that he would be there for 3 weeks. He isn't coming back till December 28th."

"He's, missing Christmas?"

She nodded her head "he left a note though, said he was sorry and this had to be done or the wing he was helping supervise to be built at the hospital wouldn't be built, and we would celebrate when he got home"

"I'm so sorry Sum"

"It's not your fault, I just, I mean he was all I had for a really long time ya know and he is still a huge part f my life and I've never spent Christmas without him and now I have to wake up to an empty house every day "

"What about your step mom"

"She went with him"

"Oh"

Seth was surprised at how Summer was acting, she would usually get a rage blackout about theses types of things, but now she seemed more sad than mad. Of course Summer wasn't exactly one to disappoint.

She suddenly flew up from the couch and began yelling.

"AH, why couldn't I go with him too, And what is it with the most important men in my life leaving me notes! How dare he do this to me, and then when I called him he didn't even seem all that sorry, like he was _glad _to be rid of me, and I blew up at him and we had a big fight!" She was now close to tears.

"Summer, Summer calm down" Seth said standing up and gripping her shoulders to calm her, its going to be alright, I know he was wrong to leave, I know, but I'm here and I promise ill keep you company"

She shrugged and he loosened his grip on her shoulders. And they sat back down on the couch.

"It's gonna be ok, ok" she nodded her head. "Want to watch a movie or something"

"Sure"

Seth clicked on the TV and began to flip though channels until he settled on a movie that was just begging to start. Summer cuddled into him and he wrapped a blanket around them both. The milk and cookies completely forgotten.

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**AN- I hate my first chapters but I promise they WILL get better. Please reviw.**


	2. Yet Swooped Upon By Saviors

**AN- My Heath teacher says we all need to find someway to "rechannel our negative energy" and since I have no athletic ability and I cannot act on a daily basis until January, writing is my "someway".**

**Thanks to _becca, kursk, ocobsessedrachel2, adambrody10_ and to _MegstarMog_- well ya she's older so he is allowed to and even if he's not its not going to effect the story, and thank you for reading this, I was wondering if you watch OC?**

**Can u believe I have a chart to distinguish all my reviews so I don't have to count them all at the end like I did with Went To Far.**

**Ok I know I said no long AN's but who loves DEATH CAB, I do, just got there new CD today! Thank you Josh and OC for getting me into them!**

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Disclaimer on 1st & user page.

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Seth slowly opened his eyes taking in his unfamiliar surroundings. Then he realized why it didn't seem right; the curtains drawn open and light was shining though With the California sunshine blinding him, he then realized why the curtains weren't closed and why his body wasn't flat, or why the walls around him weren't blue, he wasn't in his room; he was in the family room. He turned to look at the girl sleeping next to him, or rather on him. She looked so peaceful, so beautiful her hair was still smooth and her eyes were peacefully closed in her slumber, a small blanket draped over her shoulders concealing all but her head. One arm was wrapped around Seth's torso and the other was inter twined with his. Her breath was steady; in perfect rhythm to his heartbeat. He smiled, realizing how lucky he was to have her here in his arms. She began to stir and opened her eyes smiling at Seth. 

"Good morning sunshine."

She smirked as if she thought this were cheesy, but she knew Seth could tell that she loved how he made her feel, even with the cheesiest comments.

"Wait. its morning, and were still here."

"I guess my parents must have turned off the TV last night and left us to our slumber."

"That was sweet of them."

She began to untangle her self from Seth and pulled her self up.

"OW!' she said in pain as she rubbed her back.

"Yeah, maybe that want the best sleeping position," replied Seth.

"Well it was nice at the time," she smiled at him and leaned in for a kiss.

Just as her lips met his someone came bustling though the kitchen in search of breakfast.

"Hey Seth. Summer," Ryan waved at the two without looking at them.

"Ryan" Seth said smiling.

"So. you two sleep there all night?"

"Unfortunately," Seth said now rubbing his neck.

"Want to help me make some breakfast, I figured I have nothing better to do today. Marissa's coming over so she'll probably want something," Ryan stated.

"Sure I'll help, I love to make pancakes," Summer said cheerfully rising and heading into the kitchen. Seth stood and moped into the kitchen and hit start on the coffee pot and sat down on the counter watching Summer and Ryan cook.

"So, when did u two get to sleep last night?"

"Probably around 11:30 or so, what time is it now"

"8:30," answered Summer.

"Gahh.too early."

"It's not that early Seth."

He rolled his eyes at them both. Just then, Sandy and Kirsten came into the kitchen.

"Morning children," Sandy greeted.

"Dad.Mom."

"So how did the two of you sleep last night?" Kirsten asked innocently, Both Seth and Summer blushed.

"Thanks guys for ya know, not waking us."

"Oh thank your mother; I wanted to wake you up."

Seth held his hand over his heart in mock hurt, and then the door bell rang.

A while later the 3 Cohen's, and each of the Atwood's, Coopers, and Roberts sat around the table after finishing breakfast. Their conversation had ended and Kirsten was starting a new one.

"So Summer, Seth didn't tell us you were coming over last night."

"He didn't know, I kind of ambushed him."

"She didn't ambush me," he said defensively.

"Yeah, I sort of did. I just came over and." she stopped; her voice caught in her throat. Seth shot her a knowing look and his eyes told her 'Its okay there going to find out anyway.'

"Actually, I came home and my dad had left for business in Seattle with my step mom, he um. isn't going to be back till after Christmas."

Summer could see the flash of anger arise in everyone's eyes.

"Is anyone going to be staying with you?" Sandy asked.

"Oh no, I told my dad a while ago, since he travels so much, that I'm fine alone, its better than someone I barley know being there."

"Well then you will just have to spend Christmas."

".Chrismukkah." Seth interrupted

"Sorry, you'll just have to spend Chrismukkah with us."

"Are you sure, I mean I don't want to impose, well actually I kind of do, but not without your permission."

"Summer you have our permission to impose on Chrismukkah, We know that Julie, Jimmy, Caleb, Marissa, Caitlin, and possibly Hailey will so why not one more." Sandy said.

"Hey!" Marissa objected.

"Sorry, Marissa"

"No harm done," she said smiling.

"And Summer," she started to get up and clear dishes "if you ever feel like not going to sleep or waking up, or eating, alone or anything at all, you know your always, always welcome here. But if you want to sleep here you'll have to use the guest room," she shot Seth a look.

"Really, aw, thank you so much, this means so much to me," she got up and gave a surprised Kirsten a big hug.

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**AN-I know sorry for shortness, will get longer and better soon. Oh and why it took me so long to start a new story, I started school and then some life changing things have happened and I really needed to be there for one of my friends, I love her, and HW sucks and I got obsessed with HP and started reading those fics!**

**REVIW REVIW! **

**For ppl who review on ALL chapters will get major major kudos at the end ok!**


	3. False Bliss Began to Sway

**AN- Hey guys I'm back and wi****ll**** be posting regularly from now on, thank the fact that I had inspiration from The ****OC**** being back on and...other reasons****

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Disclaimer- on my user page but I don't own anything.

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"Ah," Seth sighed contently, "I love the smell of the first day of Chrismukkah!"

"Does it really smell any different?" Ryan said as Seth came dashing down from his bedroom at 9 in the morning, dressed and ready for the start of his favorite holiday.

"Ah, but it does Ryan. Oh how it does," he replied in an exaggerated tone.

It had been ten days since Summer's dad had left, she had talked to him every night and although she wasn't completely over it, she was getting there. Summer had stayed over at both the Cohen's, and the Coopers any night she could, and spent a lot of time in either of those two places. Summer had spent the night at then Cohen's that night and was just coming down to the kitchen for some coffee.

"Ah, there is my Summer, my sweet, sweet Summer, do you smell the Chrismukkah in the air, I know you do," he got up from the stool. Seth walked over to her and grabbed her hand in his and spun her in and out like their own little dance, despite how cheesy he was, she couldn't help but giggle.

"Sure Cohen whatever you say."

He dropped his hands to his sides and with an exasperated sigh said, "You two need to get into the holiday sprit," and he dropped down onto the stool and started to fix his coffee.

"Ah, the first day of the Chrismukkah," Sandy said as he strode into the kitchen dressed in his suit and red and green striped tie.

"At least someone appreciates the holidays," Seth glared at Summer, she stuck her tongue out at him, causing both Seth and herself to giggle, he was the only on who could bring a genuine smile to her face these days.

"So Dad are we doing the usual first day of Chrismukkah thing: a) tree shopping and b) decorating said tree while eating takeout?" Seth asked.

"Of course son, but maybe this year we will have some extra help?" Sandy shot a glance at Summer.

"Oh no I couldn't, I wouldn't be much help, I've never put up a tree before," Summer said.

"You've never put up a tree?" Seth asked, shocked.

"Nope, my dad get really flustered with ornaments and hates the way the trees smell, so we have this enormous one that is pre-decorated," she explained.

"Pre-decorated?" Seth said questionably.

"Yes, it happens to be quite pretty, whenever its up we eat in front of it."

"Well Summer, tonight you'll decorate a tree, Marissa can come too," Sandy implied to Ryan.

"I'll go call her now," Ryan strode towards the pool house.

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That night Sandy, Kirsten, Seth, Ryan, Summer and Marissa pulled up at a Christmas tree lot that had a banner across the fence that read "Dan's Tree Emporium". They stepped out of the car and were greeted by a wood-chipped covered ground and hundreds of deep green trees being observed by a variety of people. A short boy about the age of 15 that none of them recognized came up to the group. He was dressed in a red and green elf outfit, and his cheeks were pink from the cold night air.

"Hi I'm Renaldo, please to meet you." He did a little bow and forced Seth to suppress a giggle, which wasn't hard after Summer elbowed him in the stomach. The elf didn't seem to notice Seth's outbreak and continued on.

"Is there anything your interested in. We have a great selection of furs. Douglas, Fraser, Balsam, Grand, Noble."

He was talking so fast Marissa just wanted to shake him and tell him to breathe. After his long speech Sandy told him they would have a look around and find him when they needed him. He stalked off in a huff, holidays were so stressful.

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They had been walking up and down the isles for around half an hour when they had decided on a Douglas fur. A small child was obviously annoyed at his parents and had been whining for quite a while, Seth could see Summer was getting annoyed and decided he didn't want her to have a rage blackout and it was best to get her to talk to him.

"Mom, Dad; Summer and I are going to go find someone to help us out," and they walked off hand in hand.

"You okay?" he asked.

"That kid needs to shut up."

Seth rubbed his girlfriends back comfortingly.

"Summer."

"What?"

"What's really wrong?"

"This is wonderful," she huffed

"I'm not following."

"Your parents and you, and everything its so great, I love this. Picking out a tree, even if its pretty cold and they all look the same to me and oh my gosh that kid over there_ needs_ to be quiet. I still love it, and I've never done this before, I've never been this happy"

"Summer."

"Seth, me and my dad were close, but I've never really been a part of a real family, not since my mom anyway, and I guess." She paused to breathe, "I guess I'm mad at him for leaving during Christmas, and at her for leaving, forever. I guess I'm just jealous of you"

He smiled at her, "Well you should be jealous, after all I have the greatest girl in the world." despite the tears threatening to fall she smiled as he kissed her. Just then, the elf came and interrupted them.

"Have you found a tree yet?"

Seth and Summer jumped apart and both nodding.

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Sandy and Ryan brought the tree into the house and got it set up while the girls and Seth retrieved ornaments and lights from a back closet. They set the tree on the stand and began to string white lights around it. After it was brightly lit, they began to hang ornaments all over it. They were so personal, they hadn't all been bought at once and weren't all in the same color scheme. There were ones with pictures in them and others played music. There were funny ones and ones that had been bought as souvenirs. Some had obviously been made my Seth throughout his elementary school years and then there was one that made Summer's face light up in a great big smile. She held an ornament that read "Baby's First Christmas", in it was a picture of Seth, about nine months old in a green and red plaid nighty, his hair was a wild mess of curls and there was wrapping paper all around him. A smile so huge that showed off his adorable dimples was plastered across his face as he held up none other than Captain Oats, obviously a present he had received. Kirsten had noticed Summer looking at the ornament and spoke.

"Is that the first Christmas one, I love that one, my mom gave him Captain Oats that year."

"It's adorable," Summer said.

"Put it up front, it's my favorite," Kirsten told her. Summer did as she was told and soon felt two arms encircle her around the waist and kiss her head. She looked up to see Seth there smiling at her.

They had finished the tree and it was getting late.

"You staying here Summer?" Sandy asked.

"Um, no I think I'm going to go home for tonight."

"You sure?" Seth asked.

"Yeah."

"I have a better idea," Ryan said, "how 'bout we have a sleepover all four of us, if its ok with you two," he gestured towards Sandy and Kirsten. They looked at each other.

"If you say in here by the tree, not in the pool house and you all sleep in here no coupling up."

"Aye, aye captain" Seth replied mockingly.

Sandy shot him a knowing look and he and Kirsten headed up to bed.

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The four teens sat in a pile of blankets pillows and junk food gazing at the Christmas tree.

"Let's play a game," said Marissa

"What game?" Ryan asked.

"Um. well. how about 'would you rather?'?"

"Ok," they replied in unison.

"I'll start" Marissa told them "Okay... Um… OH! Summer?"

"Yes?"

"Would you rather... Kiss Ryan or Luke?"

"Hey!" Ryan and Seth said in unison.

"No questions about the four of us," Seth said.

"You guys are no fun," Marissa whined.

"No, its okay," Summer said, "Luke, because he's not my boyfriends brother."

"Good answer," replied Seth.

"My turn," Summer smiled. She turned her head around to face Seth, since her back was leaning on his chest, "Would you rather…"

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"Ew! Coop!"

"What?"

"You're telling me you would rather eat a raw fish than do _that_!"

"Yes."

The night had been full of laughs and jokes. Summer forgot all about her early outburst and was having a genuinely good time. This day had been great, if she had a choice it would never have ended, but it did, and she fell asleep that night underneath the glow of the Christmas tree in the arms of the person she cared about most.

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**AN- hope you a****ll**** liked it. PLEASE review.**

**Danielle (editor) will be leaving EN's (editors notes) from now on.**

**EN- Hey it's me the EDITOR! We****ll**** hope you lo****ve**** this story it just so mushy and ****lovey****: just like pie. Wow****I'm being weird, anyhow hope you love ****Niemey****'s story. **


	4. Steadied By The Best of Human Behavior

**AN- Its short it's cheesy not to great but I needed it, hey I wrote 2 chaps to one story and a one shot in 2 days.**

Disclaimer- On my user page but i dont own anything.

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Christmas was amazing. Summer spent it at the Cohen's and by the afternoon, the house was buzzing with people. Summer didn't receive as many presents as Seth or Ryan but Sandy and Kirsten did buy her a few select things, which she thanked profusely for. About half an hour after dinner Seth dragged Summer up to his room.

"What are you doing Cohen; do you know how many people are in the house right now?"

"Summer you have a very dirty mind; I brought you up here to give you your gift."

"You already gave me my gift," she told him.

"That wasn't the only part."

"Oh, I like two part gifts."

"Close your eyes."

"Ok," she giggled.

"Now first I have to ask you a question"

She nodded happily

"How do you feel about your middle name?"

"What" She asked; confused.

"You heard me, how do you like your middle name"

"Sanna, my Swahili name, I don't know, its ok I guess, I mean, it means 'work of art and beauty' so it obviously describes me"

"Yes, yes it does" Seth smiled

"But it's a little out there"

"Okay well than you can decided what you want this to mean"

He retrieved a small box from his desk drawer and held it in front of her.

"Okay, open your eyes."

She did as she was told and saw Seth holding a green velvet jewelry box. Her eyes lit up as she slowly took it from him and opened it. There in the box was a small gold necklace with a heart pendent.

"It's ... its beautiful"

"Turn it over," he said. She turned it and found that the small heart had SS engraved into it. She smiled.

"So I get to decided what it means"

"Yep"

"Hmm" she though "Summer Sanna or Seth and Summer"

She pondered mockingly for a moment before coming to a conclusion.

"The second one, I defiantly like it better" she said confidently

"Me too."

"Seth..." Summer Said hesitantly.

"Yes?"

"Well..." She stepped closer to him and he instinctively wrapped his arms around her waist.

"What would you say if I told you...that...I..."

"Mhmmm"

"I love you Seth"

She could see that the smile on his face spread to his eyes as well.

"I'd say, 'I love you too'."

That was hard for her to say, but she felt she needed to, she needed him to know. As he kissed her, she knew this was the best Christmas ever. Even if her dad was in Seattle and she felt she was wearing out her welcome crashing at peoples houses. She had Seth, and he was the only thing she would ever need, or at least the only thing she needed now, more than she even knew.

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**AN- I know short but I needed it and it is up only 1 day after my 3rd chap. Reviews make the FF world go round. **

**EN- me again. Hope you like the story.**

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**AN- I redid this on January 21st because while watching the Nana today I realized that her name was Sophie. Summers original middle name in this chap, so I changed it, and rewrote a lot of it and like it better.**


	5. The Walls Crash Down

**AN- So i wanted to do some other stuff ot thsi but i dotn have time. My flight leaves at 11 so i have to leave the house at 6 and its 1 and i'm not even packed. OH and i changed the chap titles, its a poem i wrote, not to good but poetry isnt my thing and didnt have time to ask dani.**

Discalimer- On user page, but i own anything.

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No wonder Seth had been in love with her for so long, she was hot. Summer shook her head in amusement as she thought those very words when she looked in her floor length mirror the day after Christmas. Marissa and Summer were going to brave the busy mall and try to hit all the good sales. Summer had gone home after being at Seth's that night to get ready; it was only 8:30 but the mall opened at 9:00 and Summer still had to meet Marissa at her house, and if they wanted to be there right when the mall opened she better get going. 

She took one last look at herself in the mirror. Her tight simple jeans and her white collared shirt made her look classy, but the green knit sweater gave it more of the casual look she was going for. Summer looked great, she felt great too, soon her dad would be home, her best friend was actually learning how to be a real friend and she was in love. She smiled as she grabbed her purse and headed downstairs, she was tempted to slide down the long banister but decided no one would like it if she ended up smashing her head into the marble floor at the end, and she probably would.

As she was walking towards the door, she heard someone knocking on it. She opened the door cautiously and found two men on the other side. Te tall heavier one with dark hair and a mustache spoke first.

"Summer Roberts?"

"Yeah?" She said hesitantly

"I'm Officer Reed and this is Officer Fuller" He nodded to the younger, and smaller, but muscular, blonde man standing next to him and they both held out polished badges. They looked familiar to Summer, and in a small town she knew they would.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

"May we come in?"

"Sure," Summer lead them into the living room, a room in which she couldn't remember the last time she'd really been in.

"You should sit down," Officer Fuller told her. She did as she was told, with a horrible feeling emerging from the pit of her stomach.

"Summer, we are so sorry to inform you that two days ago your father was involved in a car accident in Seattle. Him and your stepmother were driving down Interstate 5 when an oncoming eighteen wheeler smashed into their car. Your stepmother was pronounced dead on the scene and your Father was taken to a nearby hospital where he slipped into a deep coma, he passed away this morning at around two A.M. He was in no pain and died peacefully, we are very sorry for your loss."

The world was moving in slow motion for Summer, her head was spinning. She didn't understand what these people were saying. Dead, her father wasn't dead. Her father was probably packing up to come home right this second. They had the wrong Summer Roberts. They had the wrong Neil Roberts. There was no way this was happening, it could not be happening. The only words Summer could get out was a hardly heard,

"How?"

"The man driving the truck was said to have been partying the night before, he was intoxicated and passed out at the wheel."

"Is he... Dead?"

"No, he isn't even hospitalized," Officer Reed said.

Summer was suddenly filled with rage. She stood up suddenly and the officers followed suit.

"NO!" she screamed. "You're lying!"

"I'm sorry Ms Roberts."

"No your not, you didn't just lose your father," she paused, a look of realization flooding over her "Oh my god, my father, he's, he's really dead." They nodded and before they could say anything else, Summer had sat down her head in her hands.

"What took you so long to tell me?"

"The information had to be checked several times. The body had to be identified as your father's I.D was lost in the accident. "

"Who identified him?" Summer's voice was surprisingly calm.

"A coworker."

"Listen Summer, your grandparents are coming out in a few days, but until then we cannot legally leave you alone. Is there anyone you could possibly stay with?"

"Uh... Yeah, yeah. The um... Cohen's. Sandy and Kirsten Cohen."

"Yes, I personally know Sandy, I'll call him."

Summer nodded.

"Can I be alone for a while?"

The Officers looked hesitantly at each other

"Don't worry, I'm not going to kill myself or anything, I just need to be alone."

"We will be in the car" and with that they headed into the driveway.

When Summer heard two car doors close she started to walk up the stairs. This all seemed so surreal. Her feet suddenly seemed to be made of lead. It must have taken her five minutes to walk up the stairs she had so recently skimmed down in a matter of seconds. She eventually reached her room and closed the door behind her. Suddenly a sickness washed over her and she ran back down the hall towards the bathroom, she just barley reached the toilet as she held her hair back and vomited, and then the tears started flowing. She had been too shocked at first to cry, but now she could barley catch her breath. She wobbled up to the sink and washed out her mouth. Her knees couldn't keep her steady any longer; she slid against the cabinets and slumped to the ground. Something came over her that made her grab her phone and speed dialed her number one. He answer after two rings and the sound of his voice made her loose it. She began sobbing hysterically desperately trying to get a bit of air. She could hear his voice, full of fear, calling her name. She had to hang up, she couldn't take it anymore. She closed her eyes and rested her head up against the wall. Her phone began to vibrate in her hand but she just dropped it. She had to regain her composure, she had to get back to her room, Kirsten or Sandy would hopefully be here soon and she wanted to get out of her damn house.

She stood up and walked shakily to her room. Suddenly her clothes were suffocating her, she couldn't breath. She ripped off her sweater her blouse, her jeans, and threw them angrily on the floor. She began digging though her drawer to find something that wasn't so damn tight. She found a pair of light gray sweatpants and pulled them on, then a thought popped into her head and she began rummaging though her underwear drawer. At last she found what she was looking for, Seth's baby blue t-shirt the read 'Have You Hugged My T-Shirt Today" it was her favorite and when he had left it there one day, she didn't bother to give it back. She pulled it on and then found an oversized sweatshirt she didn't even knew she had. She realized it was probably her dads and that made her cry even more, although she didn't have the strength or the need to take it off.

She realized she had everything she needed was already at the Cohen's and anything she wanted she couldn't be bothered with to pack. Princess Sparkles was already there along with a tooth brush and multiple clothes and pajamas. There was only one thing she wanted, a blanket and that was folded neatly onto the back of her chair.

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When Kirsten Cohen got the phone call she could not believe her ears. She barley had time to comprehend the whole thing before they were asking her to please come and pick Summer up. So she left work not telling anyone where she was going. It devastated her that Summer was all alone when she heard the worst news of her life. When she got to the house two cops, probably one of whom she spoke to on the phone, were sitting in the patrol car in the driveway. They told her she was up in her room, Kirsten could not believe they had just left her alone like that, and she marched into the house. She quietly knocked on Summer's bedroom door and let herself in. What she saw broke her heart. Summer sat on the edge of the bed holding onto a old blanket for dear life. Her eyes red and puffy, her cheeks tear stained. She didn't even look up at Kirsten. Kirsten came at sat down next to the girl and put an arm around her shoulders. 

"Oh Summer, Sweetie."

Summer let her head fall onto Kirsten's shoulder and she rubbed her back soothingly.

"Sweetie I'm so sorry."

"What am I going to do?" Summer Sobbed.

"Oh, it will be okay, we'll take care of you Summer," Kirsten sad in a motherly tone, close to crying her own tears.

"Can…can we um... go, I really don't want to be in the house anymore."

"I understand, do you have everything you need?"

Summer shook her head and got up. Kirsten grabbed her hand and led her out of the house. She walked her past the police car and opened the door of the Range Rover letting Summer get in, when she was settled she softly closed the door and walked over to the two chatting officers.

"I'll take her home from here."

"We have your address," the bigger of the two officers said, "We will tell the grandparents to come to your house."

"Of course," Kirsten responded.

She sighed as she walked towards the car, she was almost mad at the way the cops treated this thing so normally, but then again she supposed, they must be used to it by now. She climbed into the car and looked at Summer who looked back at her. She comfortingly patted her knee and started the car to drive off. About a minute into the drive Summer quietly spoke.

"I called Seth."

"What?" Kirsten asked, Summer had spoken too softly for her to hear.

"I called Seth, but I didn't say anything, I just cried and then I hung up and wouldn't answer his call, I don't know why I did, I bet he's all worried now, and I don't want him to come looking for me because I really want him to be there when we get home." Summer cried.

"Summer, sweetie, its okay. I had a feeling you might. After I got the call I called him a told him to stay home. He was worried about you but I told him I had it under control and I would be brining you home so he needed to stay there." Kirsten explained.

"You didn't tell him, did you?"

"No, I didn't think I had the right to without your permission."

Summer smiled "Yeah, I kind of want to tell him"

"Of course"

"You must think I'm crazy bringing this old blanket with me, the only thing I'm bringing with me"

"Of course not. I'm sure you have your reasons"

"It's my security blanket" Summer paused "My mom sewed it for me when she was pregnant. And she made it so I could use it for the rest of my life. It wasn't meant to be a baby blanket, 'not my Blanky' she would say, 'my blanket'. It was draped over the side of my crib until I got a bed, then, it sat at the edge.' Summer stopped and took a deep breath, trying to stop the tears. "Whenever I was sick they would cover me with it, I have never had a sick day without it. Or when I needed to cry and no one was there, I would cry into it, talk to it, it was better than talking to myself, an sometimes Princess Sparkle wasn't cuddly enough" at this she smiled "And one night, at a party, after Seth came back and we weren't together, I got pretty drunk and I don't even remember if I was conscious when he brought me home, but I do know I woke up with this blanket draped over me, and that Seth had taken me home, somehow he knew I needed my blanket, or he just happened to put it over me, but still. I've never told anyone that before its silly, but I'm aloud to have something silly and stupid in my life, right?"

"It's not stupid Summer, it means a lot to you, and that's all that matters."

They pulled up to a red light and Kirsten stopped the car.

"You know he loves you a lot." Kirsten smiled

"I know, I love him too, more than I ever thought I could."

Kirsten smiled again.

"You know I know Seth loves you a lot, but he's not the only Cohen that does."

"Oh, Kirsten..."

Kirsten leaned over and kissed Summer gently on the forehead.

"I love you sweetie and I'm always here for you, ya know if Seth is being well... Seth or you need a girl to talk to and you can't talk to Marissa, or just anytime, okay?" she said as she cupped Summer's cheek in her hand.

"I know Kirsten, thank you so much, you've been like a mom to me and I can never thank you enough."

"You don't need to sweetie; you're like a daughter to me too."

Both girls had tears in their eyes when the light turned green and they continued their drive home.

When they pulled up at the Cohen house, Kirsten stopped the car but neither of the two woman got out.

"You ready?" Kirsten asked.

"Seth will possibly be the only thing that keeps me sane though all this," and with that she slowly stepped out of the car and on to the cement. Her tennis shoes making a soft patting sound as she walked.

Why was she so afraid to tell him? Why did she have butterflies in her stomach? He wasn't going to leave her. But he had left her already. Not Seth, not the only person that could keep her from locking herself in a closet and never coming out. No not Seth, but her father. Her father had left her and he was never coming back. The only person that she knew she needed to tell was waiting inside for her right now. Telling him would make it real, and oh, how she didn't want this to be real.

She reached the steps, Kirsten by her side. Everything was happening in slow motion again. Kirsten grabbed the door handle and pushed it open. And then as if someone had suddenly put her life back in normal speed, there was Seth.

He didn't stampede her. He didn't rush up to her talking a mile a minute trying to get an explanation. No her quietly walled up to her and said in a voice full of genuine concern.

"Oh god, Summer, are you okay, what happened." He spoke every word meticulously. Enunciating every last syllable.

"I'm going to go put this in your room." Kirsten said indicating towards the blanket she gently took from Summer, and she walked off.

"Can we sit down" Summer asked, and before she got an answer she was walking towards the couch, Seth following behind her.

"Sum?" Seth asked hesitantly.

"Seth..." she took a deep breath, she had to tell him before she cried and fell apart, "Seth my... my dad. He died Seth, with my step mom. Their both dead."

"Oh god Summer," and then she lost it. Her whole body was leaning into him, her arms were up against his chest, her head in between them. He wound his arms tightly around her, grasping to her for dear life. How could this be happening? Why was all this happening?

After Summer sat and cried in Seth's arms for fifteen minutes she didn't want to cry anymore. Her head felt like someone was banging a hammer up against it every time she sobbed. She was so tired, despite having woken up a few hours earlier. She could not believe that less than two hours ago, her life was great, now it was falling apart.

She slowly lifted her body away from Seth's.

"Do you have some aspirin; I can't take this headache anymore?"

"Yeah," Seth said, not loudly but too loud for Summers ears. She put her hands up against her ears.

"Sorry, yeah I'll be right back," he whispered as he kissed her head and slowly walked towards the kitchen.

It was too quite in the room, it was almost worse than noise. She got up and walked too the kitchen, and sat down at the bar. Seth handed her the painkillers and a glass of water. She graciously took them Set watched her, he wanted so badly to ask what was going to happen, what did happen, but he could not right now, now he needed to be there for her, he would ask questions later.

"Anything else?" he asked her.

"I really just want to go to sleep.,"

"Yeah of course," She stood and waked towards the hall, Seth wrapped an arm around her waist, and she looked so weak, he was afraid she would fall or break, or break more than she already was.

They walked to the door and Seth pushed it open. The room was a cream color; but had pits and pieces of summer brightness thrown about.

"Seth, I know that you're probably not tired, but could you maybe..." she didn't even finished her sentence, he knew what she was talking about.

"Anything for you Summer."

"I'm going to go wash my face"

"Ok, I'll be right back" Seth told her, She walked into the adjoining bathroom.

Seth walked into the kitchen and took a painkiller himself. His mother walked in and looked at him once before speaking.

"How is she?" she asked softly

"Well, not to great" he sighed.

"I can't even imagine what she is going though"

"Me either. Listen Mom she wants to go to sleep and I was wondering…"

"I think I'll make an exception under the circumstances," Kirsten interrupted

Seth smiled at her and walked back to Summer's room, when he entered he found her laying out her blanket across the bed. She saw him and climbed beneath the covers. Seth Closed the blinds and crawled in next to her. She immediately took to him like a magnet, there arms wrapped around each other.

"I love you Summer," Seth whispered into her hair, and she before she closed her eyes, she smiled.

* * *

**AN- I hate to say I'm not totally proud of this chapter, but it's the longest, and the hardest I've ever had to write.Hopefully this will tie you guys over for a while. I am going to be in D.C until the 26th I think. Then it won't be updated until the next weekend because I will be a tad behind in school, and i have a drama showcase (2 nights, one C blcok and one night i dont even go hoem from school)to do. So I'm sorry that it will be almost 3 weeks, but then I will be updating on a regular basis. Maybe if I get enough reviews then I will update the Sunday after I get back or at least sooner than I had planned. So REVIEW!**

**EN-stupid long chapter it's gone and put me in a foul mood. Oh well it's a good chapter just a pain to edit. Anyways hope you like the story.**

**An- one more thing, i totally creid while writting this.**


	6. Leaving You Holding Tight

**AN- Hopefully I will get to update more in the New Year.**

Disclaimer- On my user page but I don't own anything at all, except the picture of the four of us and the two hot hot Chippendales , at the Rio, who were hot.

* * *

They next twenty four hours were a blur; she remembered waking up at three in the afternoon with Seth sitting next to her, a comic sprawled on his lap, his gazed fixed on her. She couldn't tell if he had been reading and he put it down when she began to stir, or if he had been watching her for a while.

She remembered not wanting to talk when he asked. She watched mind numbing television with him. Kirsten tried to get her to eat, but in the end all she did was drink a bottle of water.

They next thing she knew she was back in the guest bed, alone, and it was eight in the morning.

She walked briskly down the stairs, the soft pink robe flying behind her legs.

A phone began to ring, breaking the deadly silence. It stopped ringing and Sandy's voice could be heard greeting the caller.

She listened for a moment, and realized the call was concerning her, Sandy's goodbye and the soft click of the phone being laid in the cradle singled the end of the call. She paced into the kitchen and caught Sandy's eye.

"That was your grandmother, she said that there flight is coming in at two"

She nodded and headed for the cupboard to grab a glass and then to the sink, but as she was about to turn on the tap she stopped and turned to Sandy.

"They live in Tennessee"

"I believe so, yes" he answered her.

Her face became pale, he eyes widened. She looked as though she just saw a ghost.

"There going to take me to live with them, in Tennessee. I don't want to leave here"

"Summer, Listen" Sandy coaxed, walking over to her and gently grabbing her shoulders.

She looked at him as though she want even registering his presence, Sandy didn't get to finish his sentence though, Summer immediately started taking again.

"I don't even know them, I've met them like, three times, the last time I saw them was right after my mom left. I don't even like them, there not nice people. What am I supposed to do about school, or my friends, I have friends here, Seth's here" she was pleading with him now.

"Please Sandy; I don't think I can deal with this if I leave"

"I'll talk to them"

"Thank you, so much" she added

He smiled at her "Seth is in the pool house"

As she was walking out the door she turned around and gave him a soft hug.

**

* * *

**

The pool house door was open and Summer was sure that if Ryan had not been facing the open door no one would have noticed her presence.

"Hey" was his soft reply that made Seth spin his head around, he stood when he realized it was Summer standing in the door way.

"Morning" he said "do you feel better"

"Yeah" She whispers, she didn't know if they could hear it so she nods, and Seth nodded in response as well. He really didn't know what to say to her anymore, not if she didn't want to talk to him, he's asked her that question enough already.

Ironically, Ryan is the one to break the silence.

"I'm gonna get something to eat" he walked past Seth, who hadn't moved from his standing position, and up to Summer.

"I'm really sorry Summer" he voice was so sincere. Seth saw it as odd when Summer wrapped her arms around Ryan's shoulders and he rubbed her back, but then he realized just because Summer was his girlfriend and Ryan was his brother didn't mean Ryan and Summer weren't friends as well. Suddenly it wasn't odd at all; more comforting to know she had a lot of people who cared about her.

She muffled a quit, "Me too" and let go.

After Ryan left Seth looked up at Summer as she walked towards him.

"Do you want breakfast" he asked

"Am I an orphan" apparently she still wasn't hungry.

"What" he asked as he took a seat on the bed she had previously sat down upon.

"I mean, am I? I don't have any parents, do both my parents have to be dead for me to be an orphan?"

"I don't know, but I don't consider you an orphan"

"Why not"

"You have too many people who love you to be an orphan"

**

* * *

**

Around four o'clock that afternoon the Cohen's doorbell rang. Summer really wished it hadn't.

Marissa, Seth and she were sitting on the couch, Ryan in the arm chair. She was practically on Seth's lap, his arm around her waist. They all heard the ring.

"Do you…"

"No" Summer cut Seth off. Everyone was quiet after that.

Kirsten soon walked into the family room followed by two older people.

The woman had dark brown hair, but her body was frail looking. The man was tall and what hair he had left was white. He face was stern and intimidating. Kirsten introduced them as Linda and Greg Roberts.

Seth made a move to stand and greet them, but Summer pushed him down. He smiled instead.

There was an awkward silence until Kirsten broke it.

"Would anyone like something to drink or eat."

"No thank you, we would just like to speak to Summer alone." Linda voice was calm but had a sting to it.

"Of course" Kirsten answered.

Sandy looked to the four teens, two of which had stood.

"Boys, Marissa, why don't we let them talk."

Seth looked to Summer but she still wouldn't budge.

"Sum"

She looked at him pleadingly.

He smiled and kissed her on the head and she stood.

* * *

After everyone was gone Greg spoke.

"We know how hard this must be for you"

_No you don't_, Summer thought.

"But we want you to know that we are going to get though this together." Linda said

Summer really didn't want to be together with them.

When she failed to respond Greg spoke.

"Are you ready to go home?"

"Where?"

"To your house" confirmed Linda.

"I don't want to, I want to stay here, and I really don't want to go to that house right now or ever actually"

"Well sweetie, that's where were going to stay until your fathers affairs are taken care of, then you will com and live with us." Her voice was full of mock charm.

"Were the only family each other had and we will get through this as long as we're together."

Summer wanted to cry. She had no idea what to say.

But them being the only family she had sure as hell was _not_ true.

* * *

**AN-The more reviews i get the faster i will update.**


	7. A Pool Of Tears Which You Will Drown

**AN- I decided I am going to post every Friday or Saturday that I have a chapter written, even if it is done before hand.**

**About the previous chapters when Summer said she doesn't decorate Christmas trees and stuff, when in the show she is like a xmas tree fanatic. Well I started watching OC at the rainy day woman, then I got the 1st season on dvd and watched it and during the summer when they showed season 2 again they skipped the xmas eppy, and I just recently got season two, so sorry about that.**

Disclaimer- On user page but I own nothing.

* * *

Waking up in her own bed was the worst feeling she had ever experienced. She really didn't want to be here, but she also was too upset to cause a fight with her grandparents.

She showered and dressed in an attempt to feel better, but it was no use. She walked downstairs into the kitchen, she figured even if she had no appetite what so ever, she should eat something.

She took the first step on the stairs and stopped. It was like someone had just smacked her in the head with a bat, she became dizzy and nauseous. The last time she had walked down these stairs everything had been so different, her father was alive and she was happy, very happy. Walking down these stairs was the last thing she remembered dong before she was told her father had died.

She had to get out of this house. _Now._

She wobbled down the stairs and then she saw it.

The Christmas tree.

The Christmas tree her father wasn't going to get to celebrate with because he was in Seattle.

The Christmas tree her father was coming home so him and Summer could open presents under Christmas morning.

The Christmas tree her father would never see because he was dead. _Dead. _**Dead.**

And it was all her fault.

* * *

The doorbell rang at seven in the morning at the Cohen household. Seth got up to answer it; he was pretty sure who it was. He didn't know though, what state she would be in when he saw her.

He opened the door and didn't even get to see her face before she was in the house behind him. She was hysterical.

"Sum." he started to say but she was walking towards the kitchen.

"It's all my fault."

"What?" Seth asked

"He was coming home because I was mad at him for leaving, and if he hadn't of been coming home he wouldn't of died."

"Summer that's not true, this isn't your fault at all."

"Don't lie to me," she spat, "you know it is my fault."

"Summer it's not your fault."

"Why are you lying to me?"

"I'm not."

"Yes you are, it's all my fault," her tone had changed from angry to upset and Seth put a hand on her upper arm ready to pull her into a hug.

"Don't touch ME!" she screamed.

"Summer please," he said calmly after drawing his hand away.

"No, just leave me alone," with that she stormed out of the kitchen towards the front door.

Seth followed her and found both of his parents standing at the foot of the stairs, he looked to them and they nodded that he should go after her.

He walked outside and found Summer sitting in her car. Her head in her hands. Cautiously he walked around to the driver's door and slowly opened it. He didn't know what she would do. He wouldn't put it past her to drive off with the door open or kick and scream at him.

But when he opened the door he had to catch her as she fell into his arms, sobbing uncontrollably.

"I'm sorry Seth, so sorry," she sobbed.

"It's not your fault, nothing is your fault."

* * *

Summer slept for about an hour in Seth's bed, when she woke up she look straight at him.

"Hey."

"You okay?" he asked her.

"I am now."

He nodded and joined her on the bed opening up his arms to her, which she crawled into immediately.

"I'm ready to talk now."

"I've always been listening."

* * *

Downstairs the phone rang and Kirsten picked it up, she knew who it would be.

"Hello."

"Hello, this is Linda, Summer's grandmother, is Summer there by any chance?"

"Yes she is here."

"How long has she been there?"

"About an hour, she was pretty upset earlier."

"Well if she's upset maybe you should drive her home."

"Well if she wanted to go home I would take her in an instant, but I'm pretty sure Seth has it covered."

"Seth is your son, right?"

"Yes he is."

Kirsten heard Linda huff on the other end of the phone, this woman was really starting to annoy her.

"Excuse me?"

"Well it's just that this is a hard time for her and if she's upset we should be comforting her."

"Like I said Seth has it under control, there close and he always seems to be able to calm her down, she will talk to him. If you would like to come over you're more than welcome to though."

"Well then I'll guess we'll be over soon," she sulked.

* * *

"I've always been listening."

Summer smiled at him, but it soon disappeared.

"Seth, how can you say it's not my fault."

"Because it's not. Your dad decided to come home and some stupid guy decided to drink and drive. This is so far from your fault Summer," he was starting to sound like his dad, maybe that wasn't a bad thing.

"But I wanted him to come home."

"He wanted to come home Summer, you had no say in it."

They sat in silence for a moment before Summer spoke again.

"What am I going to do, how am I going to get though this?" she asked

"Well, you're going to get through it. I know you you're strong. No matter what you do in this life your dad will be proud of you, you cant disappoint him, well I suppose you could, but like I said I know you, you wont. And whenever it gets to be too much, you can vent or cry to anyone, Marissa or preferably me."

"Except I won't have you to comfort me."

Seth had known this was coming.

"Their taking me to live with them in Tennessee."

"I won't let them."

"You gonna kidnap me?" she half heatedly smiled.

"If I have to, but my dad will make sure that Newport remains your home," it amazed her how sure he sounded, "I promise Sum, I promise."

A few moments later there was a knock at Seth's door, he called to the person to come in and both him and Summer were surprised who it was.

"Grandma, Grandpa."

"Summer you scared us, you weren't there when we woke up this morning."

"Sorry."

Her grandparents glared at her and then turned to Seth, when they didn't say anything Summer broke the silence.

"This is Seth."

Seth reached out and shook Greg's hand.

"He's my best friend."

"Not your boyfriend then?" Linda asked.

"No, he's that too," Summer enjoyed the looked that was planted on her face.

"He's the person who has kept me from just sitting in my room and locking everything up for the past couple of days, he's the only person who can keep me sane."

"You sound like a good boy Seth, it's nice to meet you."

Seth smiled.

"Well Summer we should probably get going, you have a lot of packing to do before you move in with us."

"I'm not moving to Tennessee."

"Well you really don't have a choice."

**AN- and we thought Julie Cooper was bad. **


	8. With an Unspoken Plight

Disclaimer- On user page but I own nothing.

* * *

Summer sat at her vanity, her eyes focused downwards, mimicking her spirits. Her black dress clung tightly to her upper body, stopping just below her knee and running and inch below her shoulder. Her hair was tied up in a tight bun, away from her face. 

Today was her father's funeral.

She heard her door open and softly click closed.

"Sum."

"I don't think I want to go."

Seth didn't know what to say to her for once. So her knelt next to her and softly rubbed her back.

"I'm not wearing any makeup." She continued.

"That's okay."

"I've put it on four times, but I had to wash it off because, because it got all smeared when I began to cry and I'm out of water proof mascara," Summer said trying not to cry again.

'It's okay Summer, you're beautiful, you don't need makeup."

She nodded and stood grabbing her purse and sticking Princess Sparkle in. Seth was amazed how easily she could be persuaded.

"Can you grab those sunglasses on the dresser," she asked him.

He grabbed the glasses and watched as she put them on.

She took a deep breath and looked to Seth. He reassuringly kissed her on the temple as she reached for his hand.

* * *

Summer didn't think that all the tears she had cried in the last five days even came close to the amount she had cried in the single hour of her father and step-mother's funeral. 

After all the guests had paid their respects to both Neil, Gloria, and sent their condolences towards the family, most people had headed off to Summer's mansion.

Seth watched through all this and when the last _Newpsi_ kissed Linda on the cheek he walked up to the grieving family.

"Hey," he said to her.

She smiled weakly at him.

"Summer you ready to go?" Greg asked.

"Can I have a minute alone… um… inside," she pointed at the church where her fathers ashes sat in an earn, waiting to be spread across the ocean.

"Well, of course, but there are all those people waiting…"

"I'll take her home, my parents left in my dad's car and I have my mom's." Seth offered.

They nodded reluctantly and left.

"I'll meet you in the car okay, take all the time you need," he once again kissed her temple and he walked to his car as she walked into the church.

* * *

Summer sat in one of the wooden pews. She wanted to say so much but she couldn't get anything out of her mouth. She looked up at the stained glass window of an angel, and the words began pouring out. 

"Daddy, I, I don't know if you can… um… hear me. I've never really thought much about if there is a heaven or not, I guess I figured I would wait and see. But I really hope there is one, because then I would know you are happy, so I'm just gonna talk and hope you're listening…"

She took moment and began again.

"How could you leave me, daddy? What am I supposed to do without you? I need you. I.. I'm so scared dad. I really wish you were here. I'm so sorry for anything I ever did that made you mad, I'm sorry I didn't spend as much time with you as I would have liked. And I hope you know how much I loved and appreciated you, because I really did, so much daddy, so much."

Tears were still falling as she looked up at the ceiling.

"You don't have to worry about me daddy, I'm going to be okay. I don't know how but I will. I know you never liked Seth much but he's been so great though all this, and I have the Cohen's and Marissa and Grandma and Grandpa. But if you ever want to drop by and make sure I'm okay, I would like that. I don't know if I would know when you do, but I'll try my hardest to."

Summer stood slowly and walked to the doors of the church.

"I love you daddy, goodbye," she kissed the tips of her fingers and held them over her heart, and walked out the door.

* * *

After everyone had left Summer's home she had decided all she wanted to do was sleep. So Seth and Marissa left in promises of coming over the next day. 

Once Seth got home he decided that the only way to get rid of his slamming headache was to sleep it off. His parents had other ideas. So when he was about to walk up the stairs his mother stopped him, saying that her and his father would like to talk to him. So he obediently followed them into the kitchen and sat in one of the counter stools.

"Seth, we talked to Summer's grandparents," Sandy spoke.

"And?" Seth questioned.

"She's moving to Tennessee at the end of the week."

"What, you said you were going to help her." Seth said standing up.

"I tried but the only way to help was to have her grandparents agree to keep her here."

"We talked to them Seth," Kirsten tried, "But they want her to move in with them, we told them all about her life here and how hard it may be on her but they wouldn't consent."

"We tried son, we really did."

"Not hard enough obviously, did you offer that she could stay here, maybe they would let her if they didn't have to move out here and leave their lives, did you try that? Huh?"

Seth was raging but Sandy tried to remain calm.

"Of course we did Seth, we offered that she could stay here. We offered they could come as often as they liked, we offered everything we could, but ultimately it's up to them, and there taking her with them."

Seth was heartbroken, not knowing what to say he stormed up to his room.

* * *

Seth walked into Summer's room around eleven o'clock the next day. She was sitting next to a pile of flat boxes. 

"Cohen," Summer said surprised to see him, "I left a message on your phone saying I would come over later to talk to you."

"About you leaving?"

"So your parents told you then?"

He nodded.

"I don't want to go, you know that right."

"I guess," he sighed.

"Don't guess," she said.

"Sum, why, why can't…"

"Why can't I what, Cohen? Stay? I don't have a choice. I've tried everything."

"Not everything. Emancipate your self from them, your 17, almost 18."

"I can't do that to them."

"But you can do it to me?" Seth asked in disbelief.

"How the hell did this become about you Cohen? I can't fight anymore, I'm too tired."

He came closer to her.

"I really don't want to lose you," he sighed, wishing he could take back everything he said, the look he hoped the look he gave her said that.

"You won't," she said softly.

But they both knew they were loosing each other.

"Need help packing?" he asked.

She smiled.

* * *

**AN- It's just a transition chapter, I'm not to proud of it.**

**EN- I edit this as I sit in Emma's room at _her_ laptop and its hard to imagine that when I started editing for her it was like a half year ago. So she's on the floor straitening her hair. And I'm here editing or more beta reading if you prefer.**

**AN- I redid chapter 4 and like it better so if you want to go back and read it its stil pretty short, like 461 words**


	9. Holding on to the Remains

Disclaimer- On my user page but I own nothing.

* * *

After her grandparents left Summer alone for a couple of hours to talk with her dad's lawyers, Seth came over.

Now it was two hours later and her head lay on his bare chest listening to the rhythmic beating of his heart. Summer let her eyes droop, taking in this moment, for she was sure not to have one like it for a long, long time.

As Seth watched Summer slowly drift into sleep he couldn't help but feel his heart tear just a little bit. He was so sure it was close to breaking, it had slowly been being pulled at since the day Summer called, sobbing into the phone. He knew this would be the last time he lay here with the girl of his dreams, just like he thought it would be the first time he had. This time was different though, not only were the circumstances very different but so was the room. The first time it had been so full of life and well, Summer. Now there were brown cardboard boxes stacked all around the room, and two big suitcases that lay ready to be flown across the continent. The only reminiscence of Summer left were the dark purple sheets and a few items of clothing she had set aside for tomorrow, when she would be leaving.

Summer began to stir and Seth looked down at her.

"Hello Love," he said when she gazed at him.

A small, sad, smile broke out on her face and she had to blink back tears.

"Sum, I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"

She put up a hand to silence him and he obeyed.

"It's not your fault, it's just, I'm really going to miss you."

He leaned down and kissed her, letting her know he would miss her too.

"Cohen, we need to talk."

He knew this had been coming for a week now, but he secretly had been hoping he was wrong.

"I don't think I can do this." She said sitting up and wrapping her sheets around her body.

"I mean, I love you, so much, but relationships are hard, and I don't think I am strong enough to make this last while moving so far away and trying to get over, you know... my dad."

"But Sum, we can, I love you more than anything and I need you, I can't loose you" he pleaded.

"You're not loosing me, I'm still going to call you everyday, and you'll be the first to know everything, you'll still be my best friend, we just won't be an official couple. Please Seth I need to do this, and I need you to be okay with this more than anything"

"And when you come back," Summer had a hesitant look on her face. "You are coming back...right?"

"Of course," she said quickly, "and when I do, it will be like nothing has changed, remember were still Seth and Summer, just in a different context."

Seth nodded slowly, convening his answer and she slowly lay back down on his chest. He didn't was to do this, but for her, he would do anything.

"Cohen?"

"Yeah."

"Can we please not be…" She choked "broken up, until tomorrow?"

"Of course," he whispered.

He would do anything for Summer, including letting the final strand that kept his heart together be cut.

* * *

A moving truck came the next day and loaded up Summer's things and some other personal items her father had left. She knew her grandparents sold her house furnished, with all of her father's furnishings, she didn't really care though, none of it held any sentimental value to her.

She told herself she wasn't going to cry, no. She had cried too much already and there was nothing she could do. She would leave Newport and live in Tennessee, it was only a matter of time before she would be back, back to the town and people she loved.

No one was coming to see her today, she told them not to. She and Seth said there goodbyes the night before, it wasn't much. The exchanged, "I'll miss you's" and "I love you's" and he held her. She had done the same with Marissa and a more brief exchange with Ryan and the Cohen's, yet she had tears in her eyes for every goodbye.

Now she sat in her empty pink room and had to remind herself of her promise not to cry.

* * *

Seth didn't sleep at all that night, and he didn't think he could sleep tonight either.

So there he sat, talking with Captain Oats.

"She leaving for good this time, I know I'm really going to miss her. I really loved her man... I really love her, I do still, I always will." He sighed "I did a lot of stupid stuff and she always came back to me, this time, Captain, it wasn't my fault, but she's not coming back, not for a while anyway. I don't know how I'm going to live without seeing those eyes everyday. We're not even together, she broke up with me. Yeah your right, I guess it will be easier for her. God knows she needs as much easily as she can get." He looked down questioningly at the horse "Of course Captain I will always be there to talk to her, she knows she can call me anytime. Yeah, man, I know your going to miss her too. Your right, Sparkle is going with her; I'm not the only one loosing the love of my life."

Seth sat in silence for a while, but with a jolt he looked to Oats.

"Captain Oats you've been a great friend"

With that he was out the door.

* * *

Summer opened up the door to the taxi her and her grandparents would take to the airport. She was about to slid in when she saw a black range rover pull up. It came to a halt and Seth came bounding out.

"Summer!"

"Cohen, I told you not to come."

"I know I know, and I'm sorry but I had to give you something," he said walking up to her.

"What?"

At her words, he pulled out a brown plastic horse from behind his back.

"Captain Oats?" she gasped.

He nodded and handed him over to her.

"I... I don't know what to say," she muffled "wait a sec."

She walked to the cab where her two very confused and annoyed grandparents sat and grabbed her bag that was on her seat. When she came back to Seth she was holding her own horse.

"Here," she said holding up Princess Sparkle to him.

"No Summer, I can't take her."

"I want you to have her."

"No, I mean, you'll miss her to much, and I have Ryan to talk to, you have no one, so now you have both horses. And they deserve to be together, Some couple has to be together."

Summer smiled as she choked back a sob

"I really don't think the Captain will make if he doesn't have Sparkle."

Summer threw her arms around Seth and he held her close to him. The tears she had been trying so hard to hold back came freely.

Without another word, she pulled back. Slowly she leaned in and placed a long delicate kiss on his lips. When she finally pulled away tears were in his eyes as well.

Summer walked toward to cab and climbed in, a horse in each hand.

As the driver pulled away, Summer looked back on not only the house she grew up in, but the boy she didn't think she could grow up without.

* * *

AN- I'll have another chap up tom, or mon.


	10. In a Life You Have to Hate

**Disclaimer- On user page but I own nothing. Including Death cab for Cutie or any of there songs and lyrics, I only love them, not own them.**

* * *

It was official, Seth could no longer listen to a single one of Death Cabs songs. Every single one of them reminded him of Summer.

"_So brown eyes I hold you near cause you're the only song I want to hear."_

"_The twists and turns of plot that turned us from lovers to friends"_

"_But I know it's too late, and I should have given you a reason to stay"_

"_All the girls in every girlie magazine can't make me feel any less alone"_

And the there was that one song, from there newest album, that even before all the drama, or at least this drama had started, Seth had been astounded at how much they related to it.

"_Cause the chase is all you know and she stopped running months ago"_

Even if that particular line didn't describe them now, wasn't it almost exactly what she had said to him after Portland, were these songs being sung in accompaniment with their own lives, or was he going insane.

He couldn't listen to music anymore, even if it wasn't Death Cab, he was afraid it would have the same effect on him. But what could he do, before Summer what would he do. Listen to music, sail, wallow in self pity?

He could sail, he didn't have a boat to do it in, he didn't have the_ Summer Breeze _to sail. He sure as hell didn't want to wallow; he would feel guilty after knowing what Summer was going though. Ryan was out with Marissa, after Seth had spent the last four hours with him, maybe he would play video games, Summer wasn't attached to that at all. Except that Summer was attached to everything about Seth.

* * *

Sleep, that was all Summer wanted to do. Days should not be allowed to be this stressful and tiring. She would go back to her grandparent's home and sleep. The rest she would deal with tomorrow.

It was taking an awfully long time to reach the house, she hadn't seen many stores in about 20 minutes and her grandparents said that there was only one town between the airport and their home, it was getting late, it was already dark. Hopefully they would be there soon, Summer couldn't take the silence of three people in a car, she wanted the silence of a quiet bed.

Summer wasn't even award of what was going on around her, se felt numb. She knew she was cold though, she was cold and it was dark and this car was taking her to a new life she didn't want, it was dragging her into oblivion. She felt like a prisoner being driven from a courthouse to a prison. Her armrests keeping her boxed into her seat, and even though she couldn't even feel them against her skin she knew they were the handcuffs in the analogy of her mind.

Summer must have dozed off because before she knew it she was being tapped on the shoulder and told to get up, she was home.

After taking a moment to wake up she stepped out of the car and followed her grandparents into the house. It was spacious and nicely decorated, a shack compared to Summers home, but a mansion to most people. Soft whites and tans colored most of the house with different colors thrown about here and there. It was what Summer had expected, not to old, but not fun and exciting either. The house was simple and elegant., she didn't bother to see more than the formal living room and dining room before she asked to go to bed. He grandma just nodded and led her down stars to the lower level and steered her to the left where a door stood ajar.

Summer barley heard her grandmother mumble something about breakfast and lights before bidding her goodnight and promising to show her the roped tomorrow.

She looked around at her surroundings, a good size room, about as big as Seth's, was of course painted stark white. A mahogany dresser and four poster bed sat before each other. The carpet was tan and soft. Nothing special. Summer did enjoy the window seat though and knew she would have to do some work to make this room her sanctuary. She kicked off her shoes and crawled under the blue and green quilt. For once she didn't cry herself to sleep, she was too tired to.

* * *

Cold. That was the first sensation that overtook her when she woke up. This defiantly wasn't California. Crawling out of her bed she threw on a sweatshirt before heading out of her room. She surveyed the house better this time around. Simple and nice, clean too. Her feet bounced lightly as she walked up the stairs and for the first time saw the family room and kitchen, they were connected and the kitchen floor was a sandy colored hard wood, the counters were tiled white and a kitchen table sat by a bay window. The family room was simple with couches a coffee table and a fire place taking up half of a wall, adjacent to a sliding glass door. Her grandfather sat at one of the couches watching a TV in a large armoire while her grandmother cooked breakfast.

"How did you sleep Summer" her grandmother said sweetly when she walked in.

"Good" she smiled.

Summer noticed how any windows there were in this house, lots of natural light. When she looked out from the window behind the kitchen table she could tell why.

Below her was a wonderful garden full of flower and vegetables alike. There were many huge trees surrounding a small alcove from the huge lake. There were only her grandparents and one other house on the horse shoe shaped dent in the lake and both houses had docks, but neither had a boat docked there. It was beautiful and Summer could imagine the many boats that would be out on the large lake if it was warmer.

"Amazing isn't it" Her grandfather said from behind her, startling her.

"Yes" she smiled quietly.

As Linda placed food on the table she began to speak.

"I hope your rooms okay Summer, there two other rooms down there, they both face the lake but one is my office and both are much smaller than the one your in now. You have a greta view it just doesn't included the water, if you would like to trade, were upstairs so you could have wither of the rooms down there"

"Actually I like the room I'm in, but I was wondering if I could paint it"

The two elderly people looked at her.

"Its' just, the room now is a little stark, and I would love to make it more, me"

"Well, I guess we are going to need to buy you some warmer cloths and get food you enjoy and we have to stop by the school anyway so I'm sure we can go to the hardware store too while were in town." Her grandfather answered.

"In town?" Summer asked

"Why yes, we live half an hour away from any stores, there are over one hundred and fifty people who live in our community but almost all of them are retired and only go into town once a month, other wise we have a good community amongst our selves"

Summer was astounded.

"What about school"

"Your car is being shipped over so we will show you how to get there tomorrow and then you can drive yourself"

"What time is it summer asked suddenly"

"Ten o'clock" her grandmother answered, clearly confused.

Summer walked off hoping he would be up this early.

* * *

**AN- Its just kind of a filler chapter, I will get into other stuff soon. This story will focus more on Summer than Seth, just so you guys know. So im sory about the no chapters till after the 18th, Thanks to all the nice reviews, i love you guys. See you guys after my Play, which i am having SO much fun doing**


	11. A Flooding of Pain

**AN- Wow this took forever to get up, sorry guys, I hope now that my life is calming down I will be able to write more. **

**Disclaimer- On 1st and user page, but I own nothing.**

* * *

Speed dial one on her phone.

Three rings.

A groggy voice slurs a hello, and she's off.

"I can't do it, I was going to try and be happy, well not happy, but not act sulkily, and I hate them for making me come here and leave you and everyone and Newport, but I was going to try to make the best of it. I figured that maybe if I at least tried time would go faster, life is too damn short to mope, so I wasn't going to, but now I'm not so sure anymore."

"Wait what?" Seth replied.

"The house is really nice, and so is the scenery, but I'm far away from town, and everyone who lives on this stupid lake is old, and now in addition to being away from the people I love most, I'm totally alone."

"Aw... Sum..."

He comforted her until her tears stopped flowing and her Grandmother came and told her now would be a good time to go into town.

* * *

The Tennessee school system was a little different than that of California. So instead of going back to school the Monday after she got to town, like Seth was doing, she would have a whole extra week off. Summer knew exactly what she was going to do with that week, and it wasn't going to be moping.

Monday morning she woke up after being in Tennessee for two nights.

Her stuff had arrived and it stayed in boxes in the extra bedroom that was now the only guest bedroom in the house.

Her room however was stark as ever, nothing of hers lay in it, only what was there before her, and of course, paint supplies.

Today she was going to get to work. Her grandfather promised to help her unload the massive furniture, and both he and her grandmother offered to help paint, but she decided she needed to do this on her own, to center her thoughts, and move on form the things she didn't have anymore. Except Seth, she didn't think she could, and of course there was no way she wanted to get over him in any way. She was going to love him until her heart told her otherwise, which she doubted would ever happen.

The furniture was out, and it was never coming back in.

Carefully she taped tarps onto the beautiful hard wood floors, washed the walls, taped off the molding, and opened her first can of paint.

After painting the trim, she moved on with a roller to the wall. After a short while, she could do it without thinking, she was lost in thought, and her arms worked on their own.

She couldn't help thinking about her grandparents. How much she still loathed and despised them, how horrible they were to her when they were in Newport, and how nice they were being now. Was it all false congeniality? Now that they were here, with her, were they truly happy to have her. They didn't have to fight for her, they didn't have the possibly of loosing her. Did it matter to Summer why they were acting this way. Of course, she would go back to Newport in a second, back to her friends, her school, to Seth, but maybe now that her grandparents were actually likable life wouldn't be as hard as she expected.

That day she got two coats on all walls.

She slept soundly that night.

* * *

When she woke up the next morning, sleeping in the room full of all her boxes, exited about what she could do today.

So she got to work right away. The wall painted one shade lighter than the rest, waited. So with four other colors, many different brushed, rollers, wet rags, sponges and other various items, in front of her she began. She didn't know what she was doing, she let her heart guide her, something she rarely did. Yet she figured the one time she had done it, it had gotten her the thing she loved more than anything else. It had gotten her Seth. So, with him in mind she started painting on the large wall.

During the whole process, she thought of him, of all the times they shared.

Of coffee carts, and sail boats. Superheroes, dice, crashed cars, Valentine's Days, dances, superstars, Jewish holidays, concerts, rain, malls, proms, dedications of love, and of course, her father.

She thought of all they could have had, a wonderful senior year, college, more quite nights alone, more stolen kisses, and more not so stolen kisses.

She missed him, and she loved him.

After many hours of painting, she was finished; she stepped away and looked at her creation.

She loved it, only then she realized how red and puffy her eyes must be, and just how wet her cheeks were.

* * *

By Wednesday night her room was done, all her belongings were in it; she took pictures and sent them to both Seth and Marissa.

When Seth opened his email, he smiled.

The trim was a clean white. Three walls were a soft sky blue including the outer area of the far left wall. Yet in the nook where the window and window seat sat in that far left wall was painted one shade lighter. The wall opposite the wall with the door was where her bed sat; to the left of her bed was her dresser, which now also served as a bedside table for her alarm clock and such, above it, a board full of more pictures. The right wall was mostly taken up by two mirrored closet doors, which now had pictures taped along the outside. The fabric on her window seat matched her sheets, dark purple, with blue and green pillows. Under the window seat there lie built-in shelves, which had a variety of books and personal items. All the fabrics were solid, simple, dark purple, light green, light blue. Her comforter was the solid green and solid blue on either side. A large white shag rug gave a more comforting sense to the hard wood floors.

Everything was simple, because on the other wall, which held her door, a light green chair with a white table next to it, and a small table like white desk, was Summer mural, it covered the whole wall, as well as going onto the door.

The main wall was the lighter blue, but what she painted was amazing. The center was a large purple heart, coming out of it and all around it were random things, a sailboat in particular. Two angels sat in the top right corner, looking over her. It wasn't meticulous like Marissa's mural. It looked as if a kindergarten drew it, and that's how she wanted it to look. On that wall, were her dreams, her pain, her interests, her memories. If someone else looked at it they wouldn't see some of the things, but Summer saw everything. All the random objects, meant something, she needed everything on that wall, even if she didn't have it in real life.

* * *

**AN- I know a lot of people are mad about her being okay with Tennessee, but I don't see Summer sulking, of course she still loves Seth, but she needs to be at least a little okay, because it may all come crashing down in the next couple of chapters. The mural, her way of remembering and moving on all at the same time.**


	12. Crashing Though an Unending Wait

**AN- Short, but I cant fit it into another chapter, its gotta be on its own.**

**Disclaimer – One user page, but I own nothing.**

* * *

Summer had never been to a new school before. Sure, she had moved up when she needed to but it was always all the same kids as the year before, and she had always had Marissa, in all of her classes.

She had defiantly never attended public school.

So, after insisting she was practically an adult to her grandparents, she drove to her new school, and found herself utterly confused.

Kids were going in one way, but she has no idea where the office was. She decided to act as normal as possible and walk in with them, so after parking in what she hoped was a student parking lot, she walked through two big blue doors, and into a huge courtyard.

There were hallways going off at all for corners, and a cement stage to the left. Blue tables were strewn about, and she could see a staircase in the distance.

It seemed like this school was all outside, except for the classrooms of course, and that was just, —ew.

Summer was defiantly confused.

She decided to take the hallway to the left, because it looked like it at least led to an indoor hallway.

* * *

She somehow found her way to where she picked up her school I.D. and schedule, and was off. Unfortunately, she was very late to class.

She slid into her English 11 Honors class, interrupting the dead silence that filled to room. There must have been 30 kids squished into the portable room, almost all of them were now looking at her.

"You must be Summer Roberts," the young teacher said.

'At least she wasn't mad' Summer thought.

She nodded and the teacher pointed to a seat in the middle of the room, in between a blond boy who reminded her somewhat of Ryan, and a girl she couldn't believe was in an honors class.

After ten minutes of complete silence, which it looked as if the students were reading various books, the teacher made an announcement that everyone was to do exercise 15 on page 344 in their textbooks. At this, everyone began talking to one another. The blond boy turned to her, sticking out his hand.

"I'm Connor," he said smiling, and she obliged sticking out her own hand.

"Summer," she responded.

"So I heard. Anyways how's your first day going?" he said sweetly.

"Okay" Summer chastised herself for sounding so prude.

"Only okay, with this wonderful school we have hear" Connor teased, she smiled "Well, feel free to come and chill with me and some of my friends at lunch, that way you won't be all alone."

"Thank you, I may just take you up on that."

They both smiled at each other.

"So Summer, where are you from?"

"California," she said.

"That's cool?"

"Yeah, it was" her mood suddenly dropped.

"I take it your not exactly thrilled to be here in good old Tennessee, Well don't worry Sum, can I call you Sum? It gets better. I'll make sure of it" With that, he turned and began on his assignment.

She almost smiled again.

* * *

At lunch Summer spotted Connor waving at her, and she made her way over the a group of students sitting on hard concrete benches.

"Guys, meet Summer" He said as she came over, seven smiling faces looked back at her.

"Summer, this is, Greg, Sam, Mark, Danielle, Leslie, Sara, Eliza"

"Hi," she said while smiling.

Summer figured these could be her new friends.

Summer thought that making these new friends was much easier then she has expected.

Summer knew they would never come close to the friends she had back home.

* * *

Her homework was regular; she found out that she was way ahead of almost all of her classes, so at least school wasn't a problem. At least she has something that could be easy.

So she sat, daydreaming on her third day of school in her English class. A note was put in front of her; Connor was being very sly to keep it hidden from the teacher.

These past few days both him, and his other friends, had been great company. The fears she had of walking around school alone were now completely gone.

She opened the note slowly, on the inside of the lined paper it read:

_Being from Cali and all, you must like to party? Saturday night, major rager, my friends place. You in?_

She thought about it, what did she have to loose, maybe meet some new people, make the few months she had to spend here a little more bearable.

Sending the note back it read:

_I'm in _

Summer now daydreamed about the party, and not of her dreams of home.

* * *

**AN- AH, NO SETH, new boy! Whatever will happen next! Not really proud, but this is a major transition chapter if I've ever seen one, so comment and the action will be here sooner.**

**EN- So she's meeting new people eh? And how familiar that school sounds. Whatever it makes it easier to describe. You just had to use our school or at least the description. Oh well, am I going to be in this one and if I am can I not be a psychotic Summer hating killer or more wannabe killer. Hope I having bored everyone but Emma to death anyways continue reading check out her other stuff check out my-oh wait I took it off(stupid WBE writers block extreme) so continue reading and write or something or sit and read or eat or whatever other people do okay I'm rambling so this is your editor-signing out**

**AN- I put Dani in it, lol, I love how she edits my stories wonderfully and then I have to go back and edit all her mistakes in her EN's, lol. Yep Yep it my school being described, but it's a crappy school, only 10 years old, but not pretty at all, so I figured it worked.**


	13. This Can't Be All You’ll Ever Be

**AN- Flaming, at least log on, I'm not going to hurt you, I promise, but I aprecitae constructive criticism better. **

**Oh I changed the girl's names for some personal reasons, they are now Leslie, Danielle, Sara, and Eliza, instead of Darla, Danielle, Whitney, and Ashley. And the party is Saturday now.**

**Disclaimer- I own nothing**

* * *

****

"Knock, Knock?" Darla called pushing Summer's door open.

"Anybody home?" came Danielle's voice not a second later.

Summer spun around in her computer chair to see Leslie, Danielle, Sara, and Eliza strolling into her room.

"Hey Summer," Sara smiled.

Summer was very confused.

"Hey, what are you doing here?"

"Wow," Darla said, looking at the mural on Summer's wall.

"Awesome," Eliza spoke for the first time

"Thanks," Summer said, getting up from her chair.

"So Summer you're going to that party tonight right?" Darla asked, as Danielle started rummaging though Summer's closet.

"Yeah, I mean I told Connor I would."

"Cool, then we are going to have to go to the mall."

"Actually I have tons of clothes," Summer said, gesturing to her closet, which Danielle was still looking through.

Darla turned to Danielle and caught her eye, Danielle shook her head, and Darla turned back to Summer.

"You see Summer, this isn't exactly California, you are defiantly going to need a new outfit."

"Okay."

"It's just I've seen the way you dress at school, and if that style carries out to your party ensemble, you may be in trouble. Not that it's not a great style; it just isn't what we wear here," Darla smiled, proud of herself for some reason.

"It's okay, I get it, I'm all for shopping," Summer replied.

"Who's this?" Sara suddenly asked, she as holding up a picture that was on Summer's desk.

"Oh, that's Seth."

"Seth huh, do you have his number? He's cute; I would love to get to know him."

Summer looked at her oddly, a mix of humor and jealously in her eyes.

"Sara..." Darla grumbled.

"What I would?"

Darla walked over to Sara, and grabbed the picture from her.

"His arm is around her waist."

"Oh, sorry Summer," Sara giggled.

"It's okay."

"So this is your boyfriend," Eliza spoke quietly.

"Well ex, we broke up since I had to move."

Summer's tone was suddenly sad, and everyone in the room sensed it. Danielle broke the awkward silence.

"Is this him?" Summer didn't even notice Danielle sit at her computer and look at her two open instant messenger windows.

"Um, yeah."

"xCaptainOatsx, hmm, who is damsl.in.distrs?"

"My friend Marissa."

"LtlMsVixn: This. Is. Danielle. Summer. Will. Be. Back. Later" Danielle spoke aloud as she typed.

"Signing off."

"Cute name," Sara remarked.

"It's an inside thing, and a long story,"

"Let's go Sum" and with that they were off.

* * *

Summer showed up at the party that night in a pair of jeans and a dark blue long sleeved shit, she wore a pink tank under it that showed at the top and bottom. She wore her hair straight and her shoes were simple and black.

Walking in to the party her immediate thought was; I am defiantly not in Newport anymore.

Most parties she went to, people were stuck up in formal wear, or letting loose in bathing suits.

This was a medium between the two. People were dressed very casually and although alcohol was being consumed, it was not as crazy as a Newport party.

Summer decided to find someone she knew; maybe this party would be fun.

* * *

Darla stood with a red plastic cup full of something she wasn't quite sure what was. Her cup matched her red tee shirt, the large silver star necklace she wore made her blonde hair stand out more than usual.

Connor came up behind her she knew what he wanted.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"So Summer..." she paused.

"What about Summer?"

"Is in love," Darla finished.

"What?" he said annoyed.

"But they broke up when she moved, I have a feeling she might be looking for a rebound guy, but your not going to get any farther than that, sorry," She spotted a guy waving to her, and walked off.

It was then Connor spotted Summer, taking to Eliza across the room.

* * *

Eliza was very different when she wasn't around the other girls, it was on of the first things Summer noticed about her.

She was shy, almost afraid to be herself, but now, as she stood here talking to Summer, Summer couldn't help but notice how much she actually liked her. More than any of the other girls, she thought.

They had been talking and laughing for about ten minutes when Summer felt someone sling and arm around her shoulders. She turned around to find Connor smiling at her.

"Hi Connor." she said leaning in to give him a hug.

"You want to dance?" he asked.

"Sure, Eliza care to join us?"

Summer's back was to Connor, so Summer couldn't see the warning look he was giving Eliza.

"No I'm okay, you go."

"Nonsense I'm not leaving you alone."

"Really its okay, I see Sara over there. Have fun."

"Okay, I guess see you later."

* * *

Summer had been dancing for a while; she couldn't remember the last time she had let loose in this way, it felt, strangely, relaxing.

God knows how many minutes had passed since she stepped out onto the dance floor, but Connor took her out of her temporary numbness when he whispered in her ear.

Unfortunately, the music was too loud to hear what he was trying to say. She threw up her arms in confusion and he repeated it louder. After several tries, he took her hand and slowly led her up a set of stairs.

There was no one in the hallway, but three of the five doors were closed, lights shining though the bottom.

"So what do you want to tell me?" Summer chimed, slightly out of breath.

"You look great tonight."

"Um, thank you."

"No I mean, you look, hot, like really hot."

"Thanks, is that all you wanted to tell me cause if it is, I think we should go back downstairs?" She began to make her way towards the stairs, but Connor grabber her elbow.

"Has anyone ever told you that?"

The words that were coming out of his mouth were drunken words, but he said them all so clearly, and so seriously, Summer doubted that he was actually intoxicated.

"Yes, people have told me that."

"Good, because you are."

"Connor…" before she could finish his lips crashed up against hers.

She let out a squeal of surprise and he pulled away.

"Connor, oh god, I'm sorry, I don't feel that way for you."

"But…"

"I didn't mean to give off those vibes, it's just. I love someone else."

"That someone else isn't here Summer."

"I don't see how that matters," she spat.

"Well it does."

Connor grabbed for Summer's waist and when she tried to push away, he grabbed her wrist as well.

His lips attacked hers, his legs pinning hers against the wall, keeping her from getting away.

A million thoughts were running through her head, but through all her panicking one thought stuck out, she had to fight, had to get away.

She began thrashing around, trying for dear life to get him away from her.

Whenever she had fought Seth like this, she won.

Maybe it was because Seth was weaker than Connor.

Or maybe it was because never, not once, did Seth fight back.

* * *

**AN- AHHH, REVIEW**


	14. But Your Not Even You

**AN- Oh thanks to all the lovely reviews, this story will be getting updates probably once to twice a week starting next week, beacuse, yeah, its SUMMER!**

**Disclaimer- I own nothing**

* * *

This was not happening.

It just couldn't be.

She had to get away; she refused to let this happen to her. She had to think, she couldn't let the rage blackout she felt coming on get the best of her.

His hand roamed at the hem of her shirt; his hand began to touch her skin, hot and sweaty, slowly it began creeping upwards, higher and higher.

Connors harsh lips moved away from Summer's mouth and began to leave wet splotches all her neck, at this his body moved ever so slightly, now, Summer could move her knee, so she brought it straight up, hard.

He let out a groan and moved away from her, the second she was able to move she ran.

Summer ran down the stairs, though the kitchen and living room, into the foyer, and out the door. She didn't think a single thought the long drive home; she kept her eyes on the road and her hand on the wheel. The tears she had been crying during the attack had stopped, her breathing was hard, her heart was beating fast, but she kept driving.

She pulled into the garage, and made her way downstairs, from what she could tell her grandparents were asleep, thankfully.

She crashed onto her bed, and let the tears flow freely.

What had she done, how could she have done this? She must have given him the wrong signals, but she never meant to, how could she have done this to herself, to him, to Seth?

Seth, he was what had been playing though her mind the entire time, she needed him.

She wanted to be in his arms, she wanted him to make everything right again, but he couldn't, and she couldn't call him. What would she say?

What had she ever done to deserve all this?

* * *

"Summer," Eliza said, rubbing her arm. She was curled in a ball on her bed, under nothing but a small throw blanket. She still wore the same outfit as the night before, and her face was stained with blotched makeup.

"Summer, sweetie," she cooed.

Summer slowly opened her eyes and let out a small smile.

"Hey."

"Good morning."

Summer slowly sat up in the bed and Eliza got up from the kneeling on the floor to sit next to her.

"Summer, I heard about last night."

"Oh, god."

"Are you okay?" she said sympathetically.

"I guess."

"Listen, I know he's a jerk."

"He's your friend."

"Not really, I just moved here and Sara was the only person who talked to me, he only my friend by default."

"Why didn't you tell me your new here?"

"Because for once, I wasn't the new girl anymore."

Summer smiled, "I know how it feels."

They sat in silence for a short minute.

"I feel so gross, do you think if I went an took a shower, you would stay here, and maybe we could um, talk, when I get out, I need someone to talk to."

"Of course, your grandparents wont be back for a while, they told me that they had water aerobics, and then were going grocery shopping, and to call them if you wanted anything."

"Thank you, for everything."

Eliza smiled as Summer left her room.

* * *

Summer washed her skin until it tingled, until she felt every particle of dirt, sweat, and grim Connor had left on her body was long gone. She stepped out of the shower and slipped into a flannel pair of pajama bottoms, and one of Seth's t-shirts Summer stole before her departure.

Walking up the stair Summer could smell bacon and eggs coming from the kitchen.

"Eliza, you didn't have to cook for me."

"I was bored," Eliza shrugged.

Summer smiled and took a seat at the small table over looking the large lake.

"So." Eliza said softly as she laid a plate in front of Summer.

Summer turned to Eliza and began to speak. But not about the night before, but instead she told about Newport, or more importantly about Seth.

She shared all the stories that meant the most to her. She told of Anna, Thanksgiving, which she was now able to laugh about, and was glad Eliza found it funny as well. Her Wonder Woman Outfit, and of course the coffee cart.

By the time both breakfast and Summer were done, Summer felt much better, but still not completely okay, there was one more thing she had to do, no matter how badly she didn't want to.

Eliza sensed this stood from her chair, and walked towards the phone.

"What's his number?"

"But…" Summer said

¬"This isn't your fault, not at all, he was forcing you to do something you didn't want to, this was far from innocent Summer."

"Please Eliza, I can't, he is going to be so disappointed in me"

"Summer, no he won't, not if he is everything you make him up to be."

"He is."

"Than what is his number?"

Summer, still reluctant, gave Eliza the number, but after she dialed and began to pass her the phone Summer pushed it away.

"Summer, its ring…" But Eliza didn't get to finish, she heard a young man's voice on the other end of the phone.

"Hello, Cohen residence," the voice said.

"Hi, is this Seth?" Eliza asked.

"Um, no…" He began, but Eliza cut him off.

"Oh you must be Ryan."

"Yes I am, may I ask who is calling?"

"I'm a friend of Summer's, Eliza, can we talk to Seth."

"Sure," Ryan went off to find him as Eliza tried to get Summer to take the phone, but she couldn't before Seth's voice came on.

"Seth hi, this is a friend of Summer's, Eliza, she needs to tell you something."

Seth was very confused, so he answered "Sure."

Eliza finally got Summer to take the phone, and made her way downstairs to Summers bedroom, to wait.

"Hey Sum, what's up?"

"Seth, I have something I need to tell you."

* * *

**AN- okay, so i am studing for finals, more importantly, geometry finals, so you can imagine how much reviews would make my weekend SOO SOO SOO SOO much better, so please review!**


	15. If Only He Could See

**AN- Two very different parts put together. More Summer soon.**

**Disclaimer- On user page, but I own nothing.**

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When Eliza had told Seth that Summer had something to tell him, he didn't know what to think.

Was it bad?

Should Seth be angry? Or scared?

Or was it something good, that he would be overjoyed about.

His curiosity left him as Summer started to retell the events as the night before, and once he knew what had happened, he was left first with only one feeling, worry.

Yet, when Summer declared that she was okay, and just a little shaken up, his only thought become of anger.

Now Seth could understand why Ryan sped out to hurt Trey when he found out what Trey had done to Marissa.

How could anyone do this to her, to _his_ Summer. It was as though her father's death had sent her into a downwards spiral, and no matter how hard she, or anyone else, tried, just wouldn't stop.

Seth couldn't even imagine what she was going through; he could only hope that her bright and optimistic demeanor would stay that way. And that the strong girl he fell head over heels in love with, would remain strong.

After talking to her for a while, she hung up the phone, as did he, and it left them both with a feeling of emptiness.

These past weeks had been hard on Seth, not as hard as they had been on Summer of course, but hard none the less.

Before Ryan had arrived in Newport, before Summer even noticed Seth, his life was shameful and boring, but his life was worse than that now. He still had Ryan, but Ryan had Marissa, and as much as they tried to include him, he felt like a third wheel.

He thought his life would at least be better than it had been before he met Summer, but it wasn't. Even if he had friends and more of a life, he didn't have the one person he needed.

Amidst his thoughts, Ryan walked into Seth's room.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"So what was that all about?" Ryan asked.

"Nothing," Seth said sadly.

Ryan walked to the fridge and pulled out a drink, he was quiet for a while, but noticing Seth's manner, he couldn't help himself from asking again.

"You sure?"

Seth just nodded.

"Her friend seemed nice."

"Yeah," Seth answered, lost in thought.

"Okay well…" Ryan started to head back to the pool house, but something stopped him and he turned back to Seth.

"You know, you can always talk to me Seth, I am here"

Seth failed to take notice of this statement, or so it seemed to Ryan, so he started to walk out the door.

"Someone, Some guy tried to…" He said quietly

Ryan walked back though the doors.

"What?"

"Someone tried to rape her," Seth said very discreetly.

"Tried?"

"Yeah thank God," Seth said, not looking Ryan in the eye, and still speaking in a very upset tone.

"Well how is she?"

"She's upset, her dad died, she had to move all the way to Tennessee, she lost everyone she cares about, and then some guy thinks he can just, just take advantage of her…"

Seth was now standing and almost yelling.

"Seth I'm sorry. I…"

But Seth wasn't listening to Ryan. All the anger that had been building up inside of him finally came out, and now he went from close to yelling, to full on shouting.

"And all I could do was talk to her on the god damn phone! What kind of boyfriend am I that when his girlfriend is almost raped, all he does is try to comfort her on the phone. Oh, yeah that's right I'm not her boyfriend anymore, am I Ryan? Don't ask me why I let that happen but I did."

"Seth calm down…" Ryan started.

"I mean what did she do to deserve this? Just blow after blow, she doesn't deserve it. And I can't do anything. Me, Ryan, the person who pined after her forever, the person who loves her more than anything, the person who held her for hours and hours after her father died, and didn't move a muscle despite how uncomfortable he was because she had finally fallen asleep after crying for an hour and if she woke up it would have broken my heart. Me! I promised her I would always be here, and now I can't do anything!"

At his last words he couldn't take it anymore his arm flew across the counter top, sending papers to scatter and oranges and apples rolling across the floor, the bowl fell to the floor causing a loud crash, and breaking him out of his outburst.

He rested his back against the cool steel of the fridge and slumped to the floor.

"She doesn't deserve this," he said quietly.

Ryan went and sat by his side.

"I know she doesn't."

* * *

Sunday afternoon Darla barged into Connors bedroom. She found him asleep in a curled up ball of blanket and boy.

Apparently, the ruckus she made getting in here didn't wake him. So she tried something else.

She took her boot-clad heel and shoved it into the mass on his bed.

Quite a loud "Ow!" was the only reply she received.

"Get up jackass," she snarled.

Connor twisted and turned until only his head was visibly.

"What?" he said groggily, rubbing the spot where Darla's heel collided with his arm.

"Are you hung-over?" She asked angrily.

"No, I wasn't drinking at all last night."

"Then what the hell is your problem?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Summer, Connor, I'm talking about Summer. Does her name ring a bell? Remember Connor she's the girl you tried to_ rape_ last night!"

"Listen."

"No you listen."

Connor was, quite truthfully, pretty afraid of the girl in front of him at the moment, so he thought it best to stay quiet and let her talk, or more yell in this case.

"I said she might want a rebound guy, _want_ Connor. As in, if she gives you those signals go for it, but you're not going to get a commitment out of it. That did not mean to go and make her do things she doesn't want to do. _What_ in your right mind made you think you could do that? _Why_ would you do that? _Who_ does that Connor? Who? And with Summer! You _know_ she's been though a lot, you _know_ she lost her parents recently, and you know she obviously had to leave her home. So what was going through your mind? Huh? What was going through that small little brain of yours while you were hurting this innocent girl? I want to know."

Connor didn't say a word.

"You totally crossed the line last night. You are scum to me Connor, never talk to me again."

And with that she left.

* * *

**AN- Freshman year is OVER! I passed with a 3.6 GPA! So all is well, look for more chapters soon, cause now there isn't anything standing in my way! This story will be done by the time I start school, hopefully.**

**It's summer, I am extremely bored, reviews make it better.**


	16. What is Really True

**Disclaimer- On user page, but i own nothing.**

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Time moved idly by for both Seth and Summer. They had each fallen into a routine that fit both their lives. School, homework, spending time with each respectable friend, and for Summer, talking to Seth after dinner, for Seth, talking to her before.

They both enjoyed the people they spent time with, but still would rather be with each other.

They both were semi happy with their homes, but they would never be completely happy until they were once again together.

Summer and Eliza sat in Summer's room a week and a half before school let out for spring break. The date wasn't unknown to either girl, but they had yet to talk about their plans, until of course, after their conversation about how evil their math teacher was ended, and Eliza finally decided to ask.

"So spring break is coming up."

"It sure is, do you have any plans?" Summer asked.

"My family might go camping!" She said with false enthusiasm.

"Sounds fun," Summer responded sarcastically.

"What about you?"

Summer paused for a moment, and then looked up at Eliza with a wide smile on her face.

"Well, Seth's break is the same as ours, so I was thinking I would go to California for a week."

"I knew you were thinking that." She smiled. "Have you asked yet?"

"The Cohens won't care, and my grandparents, no," She said tenitivley.

"You think that they'll let you?"

"I don't know, I mean I hope so."

"Me too."

"I mean they can't say no, can they? They already took me away from my home; they can't deny me a visit to the people I grew up with and the boy I love." Summer said, trying to reassure herself.

"Right," Eliza started, trying to reassure Summer as well, "They have to let you"

"Right."

"Right."

Both girls smiled at the thought.

Summer was surprised how much they had in common, and how well they got along considering all the things that they didn't.

Both their families had major money, but in Eliza's case, it was her mothers. She had family money as well as her own from a job she worked from home. Her father was in the military, which caused them to move from state to state almost every six or seven months. Eliza had a lot of resentment towards her parents, and used to take it out on partying, drinking, and guys. She never made good friends, for fear of loosing them the next time they moved. She had never been in love, nor had a steady boyfriend, for the same reason she didn't have any real friends. She lost her virginity at the age of 14 to a guy she didn't even know the name of, and to this day still doesn't. Her life was consumed by parties, and she was heading downward, fast. All that changed though when one night while out partying, she lost count of how many drinks she had had and while driving home, drunk, she passed out and the passenger side of her car wrapped around a pole. It was a miracle she was even alive after over dosing on alcohol, let alone surviving a car wreck, which left her with two broken ribs, a concussion, and a new perspective on life.

From that day on she promised herself she would be a new person. She went from being called Lizzie to Eliza. She threw herself into her studies and was surprised to find that she actually enjoyed it, and so far her junior year was nothing but A's. Unfortunately, two years of her high school career sliding by with C's wouldn't get her into her choice school, NYU, so she would have to start for one or two years in a community college. Most likely, in this same town, because after the accident her father refused to move anymore and promised his daughter they would stay in one place until she went off to NYU.

Summer had learned all this during their many sleepovers, Fridays at Summer's, Saturdays at Eliza's. They were all each other had. Neither obviously wanted to hang with the party crowd, the smart kids were just too boring, and the normal kids didn't want anything to do with these two new girls, so they stuck together, and neither ever had a complaint.

"Well I better be getting home, my moms making pot roast, my favorite," Eliza stated.

"Okay love, I'll see you at school tomorrow."

"Oh yea, I forgot to ask you if you could pick me up, my car is in the shop for a check up or _something_."

"Yeah, no problem."

"Oh and Summer."

"Yes?"

"Ask your grandparents _tonight."_ She demanded.

"Will do." Summer said saluting her friend with a wide smile on her face.

* * *

As Summer loaded the dishwasher after their meal, she decided now was a good time to ask her grandparents about spring break. So after her grandmother was putting away the remains of dinner, and the dishwasher was fully loaded, Summer went and sat next to her grandpa on the couch, and asked her grandma to join her.

Everyone was settled when Summer started to talk.

"As you probably know spring break is coming up and I though that it would be nice if I was able to go back and visit everyone in California for a week," she said brightly.

Her bright demeanor quickly turned to a dark one when she saw the look on her grandparents face.

"Well Summer…" Her grandma started.

"Well Summer what, why can't I go?"

"Summer it just that we were thinking of spending spring break together, maybe getting some household projects done." Greg stated.

"We can do that on the weekends."

"Not when you're always at Eliza's house, or she's here."

"So for four and a half weekends I won't see her, that equivalent to 9 days, what my spring break is."

"Summer, the answer is no." Linda said simply.

"What the hell do you have against the people in California!" She said angrily.

"Don't talk to us that way." Her grandpa croaked.

"Summer, your spending spring break with us, with your family."

"You're not my family," She spat.

"Damn right we are." Her grandfather yelled.

"No" she said standing up "My family is in California." She hissed, and walked out of the room.

* * *

"They said no" Summer spoke the second she heard Seth's voice on the line.

"They didn't?" He said astonished.

"Yeah, flat out no" She said with tears in her eyes.

"Damn it" Seth said loudly, making Summer's tears flow freely.

"What the hell is their problem?" Seth huffed.

"I'm so sorry Seth."

"It's not your fault."

She began crying harder, this was too much for her.

"Sum, are you driving?" He asked.

"Yes" she cried.

"Pull over Summer."

She did as she was told and told him so.

"Fuck Summer, you're going to get yourself killed." He yelled.

"God Cohen I don't even know where the hell I am, I'm lost" She screamed.

"Why did you get in the car anyway Summer, you knew you would get hysterical."

"God I just wanted to talk to you."

"While you were driving, and in hysterics!"

"Maybe I don't care! Fuck Cohen look how messed up I am. And you know what I'm aloud to be fucking hysterical!" She screamed. "I don't know what I bother calling you! Just be thankful you're not my boyfriend, because then you would _have_ to give a shit!"

She slammed her phone shut hard.

What was she supposed to do now; at once he phone rang, answering her questions.

It was Eliza.

"So?" She said at once.

"Eliza," She cried.

"Summer what happened."

"They said no, so I drove away, and called Seth, and he was mad at them, and so was I, then he got made at me for driving and talking to him and being all fucked up at the same time, and then I got made at him because I didn't want to deal with his shit, and I yelled at him and I said something really awful and I hung up on him and I don't know what I'm supposed to do now, I cant… I just _can't_"

"Summer, baby." She cooed.

Summer was surprised she could even understand her.

"Listen, Sum, you and me, we will deal with California later, you _are_ going to see this fuck-up of a boy you love so much, okay."

Summer didn't answer.

"Okay?" Eliza forced.

"Okay," She whispered.

"Good, now, you need to call this boy back and make everything right."

"Will do," She smiled out of habit.

Before she could hit speed dial one her phone began to ring yet again, and of course this time it was Seth.

She hadn't even begun to speak before he started off.

"Summer, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you. I was, am, just mad you can't come, I miss you so much, and the car thing, it was just because I care about you, so much, and I know I should have handled it differently but if anything happened to you I, I don't know what I would do."

She knew where she got her rambling from now.

"It's okay, I know. And I'm sorry I yelled to. And I know you care, I know. And you know I love you right, I'm so in love with you."

"I know."

"But god, I don't want to be this fucked up anymore."

"I don't want you to either."

"I need to see you, to touch you, to kiss you. Seth I need to be in your arms."

"You think I'm cheesy."

"Shut up Cohen," She smiled

"I want you here."

"Don't worry, I will be."

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**Please Review!**


	17. Life Moves Fast

**Disclaimer- On user page but I own nothing.

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**"There you are I've been looking for you all morning," Eliza said as Summer walked up to her at school the Thursday before spring break.

"Sorry, I was running late this morning."

"That's okay. Here."

Summer took the envelop Eliza was handing her.

"What is this?"

"Um, it's your plane ticket." Eliza said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh my god, Eliza thank you, I was just going to go do standby so it wouldn't show up on any bills."

"Don't worry I paid for it on my moms credit card. That way you can just give me cash, after you come back, when your g-parents already know you were gone."

"G-parents?" she laughed.

"Shut up, I got you the tickets didn't I?"

"Yes, you did, and you are a genius."

"I know."

Both girls laughed.

"Okay so you have to ditch school tomorrow, your flight leaves at 10, and then your return flight is Sunday morning."

"Thank you so much, and you got me a return ticket?"

"Yes, I couldn't have you staying there now could I?"

Summer smiled at her friend when a thought popped into her head.

"Come with me."

"What?"

"Yeah, get yourself a ticket and come with me."

"No, you're going there to be with Seth, and in a way that's gross."

"Seth doesn't even know I'm coming, and everyone would love to meet you."

"I don't know."

"Please?" she begged.

"How about this, I'll got to standby, if I get on the plane I do, if I don't, I don't."

"Fine," Summer huffed.

"So I'll pick you up for school tomorrow."

"Yes, school."

* * *

"Summer, my parents are going to kill me."

"Eliza, you have done so many worse things in the past."

"True."

"Think of it this way, what can they take away. Your car, there is a bus, or me, and it's not like we go anywhere super exciting…"

"Except California."

"Yeah, but wheat else, money, what do you buy, you have tons of clothes. Your computer, you are never on it, I know. Your phone, the only person you talk to is me, and no matter what we will see each other in school. All of these things you will eventually get back, but you will never get to sneak off to Cali with me ever again."

"Thanks for putting it in perspective for me."

"I am using the same thing for myself."

* * *

Eliza's seat was four rows in front to Summer's, and that just wasn't going to work for either of them. So Eliza stripped off the track jacket she had over a skimpy midriff bearing t-shirt, and walked up to Summer's row.

"Hi," she said to the elderly man sitting next to Summer, "I'm Lizzie" she threw the man a flirtatious smile, "and I'm really, really afraid of flying, it's my first time you see, and I think it would be extremely comforting for me to be sitting next to my best friend in the entire world. We've known each other since we were born and we've been there for each other since forever. When she broke her arm, when my parents got divorced, when I got my first…"

"I'll move, I'll move," said the man.

"car." She said finishing her previous sentence.

The man grabbed his bag and walked up to Eliza's row, when he was out of earshot, both girls burst into a fit of giggles.

"No one is sitting in this seat Eliza, you could have just taken it." Summer gestured to the other seat in the row.

"Aw, but that was so fun."

* * *

"Why the hell did we get a bug?" Eliza whined from her seat in the cramped VW.

"Well we forgot about renting a car and it was all they had left."

"Well, I got the tickets."

"Fine whatever, I forgot, happy now."

"Yes."

"Oh! Were here!" Summer exclaimed.

"Wow, it's amazing."

"I know."

"Hey Summer, it's 1:30, he's not in school."

"Shit."

"Summer, we have to wait here for…"

"An hour and a half, maybe longer."

"We could drive around." Eliza suggested.

"In the cramped bug."

"Lets unload out luggage, no one would steal it."

"Wait I have a better idea." Summer said jumping out of the bug, quickly followed by Eliza.

She walked over to the gate surrounding the yard, luckily it was unlocked, and so they walked in.

The yard looked exactly as it had months before. The grass, the porch, the pool house, and yes, the pool house.

"Ryan has a free period right now."

"And we had to sneak into the back because?"

"Ryan lives in the pool house. I never mentioned that, did I?"

"Nope."

"Well he does."

Both girls walked up to the pool house door, and Summer knocked. In a few moments the door swung open.

"Summer!" Ryan said wrapping her in a hug.

"I thought you weren't aloud to come."

"I'm not."

"I think I had a bad influence on you."

"Yes, now I have someone to blame it on."

Ryan just laughed, and looked towards Eliza.

"Ryan, this is Eliza."

"Ah yes, we've spoken on the phone."

Summer was surprised when Ryan offered her a hug too, which she gratefully accepted.

They sat at the kitchen table and talked for the next two hours, filling in each other on the last couple months, and Ryan getting to know Eliza.

When the topic of Connor came up, Summer just said she didn't associate with him anymore.

She had gone from scared, upset and petrified, about the attempted rape, to angry, then to accepting it, and finally she was now thankful.

Thankful that she fought him off, and she wouldn't have any real scars from the incident, just wounds, that were almost healed.

They heard the front door open and Seth and Marissa's voices filled the house, or more Seth's.

The second he walked into the kitchen Summer stood up.

"Hey," She said softly.

Seth froze. Marissa squealed and ran to Summer, practically knocking her other over in hug. When she pulled away, Summer walked around the table to where Seth was standing.

"Hey Cohen."

"Hey Summer."

She threw tiny self at him, and he caught her.

Ryan ushered the other two girls into the pool house, leaving Seth and Summer alone.

Suddenly there were tears in her eyes.

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**Please leave me lots of pretty reviews for when I get back from my Alaskan Cruise **


	18. Yet the Time Will Never Come

**AN- First things first. The last two chapters were actually put up while I was in Alaska, and we have Danielle to thank for that. So this chapter is dedicated to her, and I think she deserves a round of applause. **

**I had a wonderful time on my cruise, and if you add me to your live journal, you can see pictures very soon. **

**Also READ THIS! Due to some minor changes, Summer is not a senior now, she is a junior, I know she was a senior, but because of legal and plot issues, she is now a junior. Sorry for the confusion. **

**Thanks you all for the wonderful reviews on the last chapter, they really inspired me, and helped with my post-cruise blues. **

**This is just a _fluffy_ filler chapter; the next one will be full of plot lines. **

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**Disclaimer: On user page but I own nothing. ****

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The night of Summer and Eliza's arrival, the five kids beamed at the thought of having a slumber party in the Cohen living room, much like they had done just before that fateful tragedy that defined Summer's life.

Summer didn't think about that night, and the events that followed though, she thought of how happy she was here in this moment, with the brilliant friends she left behind, the one she had gained amongst the heartbreak, and the one and only boy she was sure would ever have her heart.

So cuddled up amongst the many pillows and blankets Seth and Ryan had gathered from many different destinations, Summer couldn't not smile.

She was the last person to fall asleep. Not surprisingly Marissa had drifted off during "Batman Begins" and Ryan, unable to move from beneath Marissa's body, soon followed. Seth fell asleep right after the movie was over, and after twenty minutes of talking with Summer, Eliza shut her eyes too.

So for what seemed like hours after the four had fallen asleep Summer studied each one of their sleeping figures, the light from a small lamp, and the moon, made is capable for Summer to see each persons faces clearly, and her view from the floor made it possible to have a view of all her friends.

Ryan had his head turned away from the back of the couch Marissa and he were on. His chin rested on top of Marissa's head, which was turned away from Summer and snuggled into Ryan's chest. It surprised Summer how different, how peaceful, Ryan looked while he was asleep, there wasn't a sign of any negative energy on his face, something he almost always had in his waking hours. His arms were wrapped tight around a sleeping Marissa, and their breaths came in rhythm with one another.

Eliza was very different from Marissa and Summer, who both likes to cuddle and be near a warm body in their sleep, Eliza liked to sleep like a bird in the sky, arms out stretched, and in a new position every hour. Whenever Summer and Eliza spent the night at each others houses, the guest would sleep on the floor due to Eliza's sleeping habits, something Marissa and Summer never did, Summer missed this, amongst the many other thing in her old life.

At the moment Eliza had one arm straight up resting on the back of the couch, and the other hanging off, her feet were in a similar positions. If Summer weren't so comfortable, she would have gotten a camera to capture the humor in the way she looked.

The looked on Seth's face made her miss him even more, despite being a mere three inches away. He looked happy, peaceful, something she hadn't seen in him for a long time, and not just because of their distance. Before she left all the looks his face held when she was around was fear, sympathy, and worry, but now, he was happy, and so was she, even though she knew the feeling would be over in just a little more than a week.

* * *

She awoke warm and comfortable, her body pressed up against another's and her head buried in the crook of his arm.

Seth moved as he felt her stir and shot her an undeniable smile.

She looked around for a moment, realizing no one was to be seen, or even heard.

"Where is everyone" she asked expressing her thoughts.

"The beach" Seth answered knowingly.

Summer shot him a look of confusion and no words were needed for Seth to reply.

"Marissa wanted to go to the beach, which of course means Ryan would go, Eliza told them she didn't want to be a third wheel when they invited her but Marissa said she hasn't had much female company in a while and that she needed a third wheel, so that's where they are, at the beach." Seth said brightly, but the next words to come out of his mouth were in a soft, almost hurt tone, "They didn't leave more than twenty minutes ago, I could take you if you wanted to go be with them."

_Be with them._

The only person Summer really wanted to be with now was Seth, she had time to spend with Marissa later, and she was sure Marissa, Ryan, and Eliza knew it.

"No" she said answering his suggestion, "I think they got out of the house to give us some time alone."

"And should I thank them for you later."

"Oh yes, defiantly" She quickly sat up to match his sitting position and took his face in her hands, crashing her lips upon his own harshly, passionately.

Luckily both Sandy and Kirsten would be at work the entire day.

* * *

Summer's hair hung in loose curls around her bare shoulders, the small heart pendent Seth had gave her for Christmas sat on her neck. Her dress was a dark satin emerald green that flowed at her waist and stopped just below her knees.

"Summer are you ready?" Seth asked from outside the guest room.

"Yep." Summer said happily as she grabbed the silver purse that matched her necklace and heels.

She stepped out of the room and Seth's jaw immediately dropped.

"Wow, you look, I don't know, what's the word, beautiful, stunning, breathtaking, inspiring, dazzling, glorious, spectacular, superb, incredible, amazing, wonderful, magnificent, out of this world, well that's three words but.." he rambled.

"Seth.."

"You know what, we should come up with a word for you, because, you deserve your own word or something." He said placing his hands on her hips and leaning in for a kiss.

"Thank you, you look quite snappy yourself."

"Snappy, after that speech I just gave, and you tell me I look snappy." He teased

"Speech, it was more like a ramble, and do you look as amazing as me?" She retaliated with a smile.

"No one could look as good as you Summer, no one ever."

"Aw, I missed your cheesy comments so much." She said leaning in for a longer deeper kiss.

"Well then, off we go." He chimed as Summer linked her hands with his.

* * *

"The restaurant was amazing Seth, really you didn't have to do that for me, you know I'm a cheap date." Summer said sleepily from her passenger seat in the range rover.

Seth took Summer to a romantic Italian restaurant complete with candles, four course meals, and soft music in the background.

"Well you've changed since I first met you, what happened to the girl who wouldn't eat in a fast food place because you could see the food being cooked when you stood at the counter."

"That girl got her priorities in order." She replied with a smile.

The restaurant was about forty five minutes away from the Cohen home, Seth drove the car along a freeway that overlooked the many homes, restaurants, and businesses of Orange County.

Summer's head rested against the window in the silent car, it was almost midnight, and she was tired from the lack of sleep the night before, so here she sat in silence watching the lights of the city below her go by.

Both had been quiet for the majority of the ride home when Summer's hushed voice broke the silence.

"It's beautiful isn't it?"

"The lights, yea they are."

"They make you wonder." She told him.

"About what?"

"Life. I mean each one of those lights represents at least a person, maybe more, and there are so many of them, and in such a small place, think about all the lights that are on around the world. Just imagine how many people that is."

"Plus all the people who have their lights out." Seth chimed in.

"Exactly, and out of all those people, what's one, ten, a hundred, a thousand; it's absolutely nothing compared to what, the six billion people in the world."

"Like the Katie Melua song." Seth said with a smile, one she didn't return.

"My dad didn't mean anything. No one misses him." She said sadly.

"You miss him." Seth said changing his tone from the comments before.

"But I'm not anything either, just like him. There aren't even a hundred people who really truly miss him, and even if there were, that's still nothing, no one really means anything. No one but the people who make world changing thing happen, the people who cure diseases, or invent amazing things. He didn't do anything like that, I won't do anything important."

"You don't know that."

"Yea I do. And I know, I know I need to live my life for me, because who the hell cares if no one misses me, if I'm nothing, but still it would be nice to be something. If I die, in actuality no one would really care"

"You're something to me. I would miss you enough for every last 6 billionth person on this earth."

"So you're saying you're something?" she said cracking a small smile.

"No Summer, _we're something_."

* * *

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	19. An Inescapable Past

**Disclaimer- On user page, but I own nothing.**

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"Summer sweetie wake up" Kirsten chimed as she sat at the edge of Summer's guest room bed.

"Good morning" Summer returned with a smile, one she didn't receive in return.

"Your grandmother called this morning."

"Oh" Summer said sadly.

"I had a feeling you didn't tell them, and the only reason I didn't confront you was because I know how much you really want, or need, to be here, but I can't let you stay here against your grandparents wishes."

"I know, but I figured maybe if I were already here, they wouldn't make me come back before spring break was over."

"Listen Summer, as much as I know that this is where you want to be, as much as I think that your grandparents should have let you stay to begin with, I get why they took you with them to Tennessee. You are their grandchild, they are your family, and in times of need, your family is who you need to be with."

"But I didn't even know them."

"I know, but maybe they wanted to get to know you, when you needed them the most."

Summer didn't know what to say, for the most part, she had realized everything Kirsten was telling her during the long nights she spent contemplating her grandparent's decisions.

"I told them not to do anything rash until you can talk to them Summer, so I would suggest you call them soon." Kirsten said.

"I will."

"And despite anything I just said, or anything your grandparents say, you are always welcome here. Not just because you're with, or I guess, without, Seth, but because you are a part of this family."

"Thank you Kirsten, Thank you for everything, you have no idea how much that means to me."

Kirsten leaned down and placed a soft kiss on Summer's cheek, before walking out of the room.

Moments after Kirsten left the room Eliza walked in, fully dressed with a cup of yogurt in hand.

"I hate how early you can get up and still be perky." Summer scoffed.

"Summer, I'm never 'perky', but you know, I just can't sleep over 6 hours."

"Show-off."

"So I called my parents." Eliza stated matter of factly.

"And?"

"They don't care, as long as I'm safe I can stay, they talked to Kirsten and get this, they know her. I guess we lived out here when I was about four, and they were acquaintances for a while."

"Wow"

"Plus, they only like to be parental when it's convenient for them, or I'm in life threatening danger and all."

"Hopefully my grandparents will be as understanding."

"I'm sure they will." Eliza consoled.

"I don't appreciate your sarcasm."

Eliza just laughed before walking out of the room.

Summer threw the expensive sheets off her body and padded her way down the hall and down the hard marble steps, stopping once she reached the deserted kitchen.

Slowly she reached for the phone and dialed her grandparent's, and she guessed her own, homes number.

After just one ring her grandmother picked up the phone.

"Summer, what you were thinking?" Her grandmother huffed before she could even say hello.

"I just wanted to see them for a week."

"But we said no, and Summer, you have to answer to us that's how the world works."

Summer was almost speechless. Almost.

"What do you have against these people? I lost my dad, and they were here for me. Even before that, they were always here, these are the people I love, and they are a huge part of who I am. I know that you care about me, and I get why you wanted me to come live with you. You are my family. You lost your son too, I didn't forget that. I know that you care about me; I know you want what's best for me. I have accepted that Tennessee is my home; your home is my home. But you cannot honestly tell me I cannot visit them. Especially when I am in love with one of them, as much as you want to deny it, I love him. Maybe you think that if I visit here, and then have to leave these people and this place again, I will go back to the way I was when I first came to Tennessee, lost and lonely. Isn't that pretty hypocritical?" Summer paused but no words came from her grandmother's mouth. So she began again, "Yea, I know your story. I know that you and grandpa met in high school, and fell in love. I know that grandpa fought in two wars, and hardly had time to write letters, let alone talk to or see you. I know that between the wars you lived as far away as physically possible, but you couldn't move because of work and family obligations, not to mention your families hated you two together. But you made it work, you wrote letter after letter, and called each other as much as possibly. You visited whenever you could. It didn't matter that every time you left him your heart broke into a million pieces, those short weekends were worth it all. I also know that grandpa was MIA during Vietnam, and it almost killed you, but you made it, and were there to great him when he came home. But yet again you two were separated, but after a year of almost never talking, grandpa couldn't handle it anymore, he went to Tennessee, walked up to your father, and said 'I love your daughter, and I will marry her. Your blessing would mean the world to me, but if I don't have it, it doesn't matter.' So he gave you your blessing, and your families finally fell in love with their new children. You know how I know this, because my father told me. You see, he hated Seth, despised him, told me to break up with him, and I almost did, but I didn't, and my dad eventually grew to love Seth, and one day while looking at a picture of the two of us, he said it reminded him of a picture of his parents, when they were my age. And it did, the look in you eyes, you were in love, I was in love. I am in love. And maybe I won't not date anyone ever again and still be happy with Seth, still look at him the way grandpa still looks at you. But right now, he looks at me like that, and if I can only be with him for nine days a year, I'm going to take those nine days, and I will love every minute of them. So please I'm begging you, let me stay. I have to come home if you want me too, but you of all people should get that this is where I want to be, at least for these short nine days. "

"Summer…" Her grandmother started.

But before she could answer Summer heard her grandfathers voice on the line, a voice that had obviously heard Summers entire speech.

"Linda, let her stay." He stated softly.

After a deep breath she finally answered.

"Be home by Sunday Summer."

"Of course" She answered softly.

Summer gently laid the phone back in its cradle. It was then she notices the tears falling from her eyes.

Two strong arms took her into them, and she turned around to lay her head upon Seth's chest.

"Wow Summer I don't know what to say."

"Well there letting me stay, due to that mini breakdown you witnessed."

"How did you know I saw all of it?"

"I knew, you're not as stealth as you think."

* * *

"So guess who's in town?" Ryan said as he walked into the family room where the girls and Seth sat.

"Oliver" joked Marissa.

"Close" Ryan returned.

"Luke" Seth guessed.

"Yep, and he's on his way over here, I hope that okay."

"Of course" Summer said smiling. "I haven't seen Luke since he wrapped his car around that pole."

"None of us have" said Marissa.

"Not all of us" Summer said while shooting a death glare at Seth.

"I thought you were over that." He glared back

"I am." She returned without looking at him.

Five minutes later the front door opened and Luke bounded in to greet his old friends. He gave each of them a giant bear hug before stopping at Summer.

"Hey Summer, how's everything going""

"As good as to be expected" she answered.

"Great" he replied while engulfing her in a bigger hug then the rest.

Afterward his eyes fell on Eliza.

"Luke this is Eliza, Eliza, Luke" Summer introduced.

"Hi" Luke said softly before reaching out to shake her hand.

"Listen," Luke started, "My cousin works at the golf course, said he could get us in free tonight, if you're interested."

"Last time we golfed Luke, we were run off the golf course, plus it's like seven at night." Ryan stated.

"Oh no dude, miniature golf."

"Oh then I'm in" Marissa said happily.

With that the six piled into Luke's truck and were off.

"So, six people would take forever, lets play teams." Ryan began as they received there balls and clubs.

"Teams of two or three?" Seth asked.

"Two we'll play couples." Marissa said.

"Hey", Luke said wrapping his arm around Eliza's shoulders, "Want to be my date?"

"Of course" She said throwing him a flirtatious smile.

"Well we have the colors of the rainbow, lets go in order," Seth said, "Ryan red, Marissa orange, Luke green, Eliza yellow, me blue, and Summer purple."

"Shouldn't you have the purple one Seth." Summer teased, as the rest of the group 'ooed' in enjoyment.

"Oh really?" Seth said stepping closer to Summer

"Yea" She said when his face was so close she could kiss him.

That was just what his did too, he dropped his club wrapping both his arms around her waist and swinging her till his was the only thing holding her up, and then his kissed her, hard.

"Still think I should have the purple club." He asked her when he had set her back on her feet.

"Never" She said breathlessly, "now pick up your club, we have teams to whip."

Not surprisingly, when the scores were counted at the end of the game, Seth and Summer were dead last, too much flirting, not enough playing, and Luke and Eliza had whipped everyone's asses.

After eating burgers at the pier, something Summer forgot how much she loved, they all went back to the Cohen mansion.

Today had been a long day. A good day, but a long day.

* * *

The next morning Summer was sitting on Seth's bed flipping though the graphic novel he had given up for her, while Seth fiddled with his computer, trying to find a song he wanted to play for her.

Someone knocked twice on the door, and Seth chimed at them to come in.

"Hey Eliza" he greeted as she walked into his room.

"Hey" she greeted back, "Hey Summer I…"

But she paused once she saw what was in Summer's hands.

"Is this Atomic County?" She asked.

"Yep" Summer said handing over the issue.

"Oh my, that's Little Miss Vixen isn't it, wow, Summer, you are totally hot as comic character."

"We have Seth to thank for that" Summer said shooting him a look.

"I draw them as I see them" He stated looking Summer directly in the eye.

She threw him a lavish smile, which his graciously returned, before turning back to Eliza.

"I would make you a character too, but, I kinda don't have it anymore." He said with little regret in his tone.

"I heard all about that, I wish a guy would do that for me. Although the odds of exactly that happening are slim, so maybe, I'll just have to settle for something equally sweet."

Summer smiled at her friend.

"Listen, Summer," Eliza started, "I was thinking of going out for breakfast."

"Oh, um, I'm not dressed but, I guess…"

"Oh no," Eliza stopped her, "Actually I was going to go with Luke. If that's okay of course." She added.

"Oh, yeah, defiantly" Summer said, surprised.

"Have fun" Seth said as Eliza was walking out the door.

"Eliza and Luke," Seth said grinning, "who woulda thunk it?"

Summer just rolled her eyes at him.

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**Review Please.**


	20. You Do Believe Has Won

**Short and sweet. More coming soon.**

**Disclaimer- I own nothing.**

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"I love you" she whispered softly.

He groaned questioningly at her, sarcastically almost, and it made her giggle.

"I said that I love you."

"I know I just wanted to hear it again," he teased.

Summer would have reached her hand up from under the cover to slap his chest, but she was too comfortable, so she jabbed her knee into her thigh instead.

"Ow!" Seth yelped as she giggled.

"I love you too!" he shot out sarcastically.

"You get what you deserve."

Defeated, he sighed, "point taken."

"Thank You." She murmured snuggling against him more.

"I really do love you though." He said meeting her previous tone.

Tears almost threatened to sting her eyes, but she held them back and instead whispered an "I know"

"Don't leave me." He said before he could stop the words from emerging from his lips.

"Cohen…"

"No, Sum, I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that."

"I would if I could, know that Seth. I just can't"

"I know." Sadness was lingering heavily in his words.

They were both quiet for another moment before he heard her bring in a deep breath, stopping tears.

"No, please I don't want to see you cry." Seth whimpered, he knew sometimes she needed to cry, to let our her frustrations, and he was always going to be there for her when she did, but he couldn't help but not want the moment they had been sharing before he ruined it, to be gone.

She had woken up early, too early, and made her way into his room at sunrise. She had tried to explain that she couldn't sleep, she was cold, or had a nightmare, or something. Seth hadn't truly cared, she didn't seem upset, and he wanted nothing more than to have her in his arms, so he threw the sheets open for her and let her crawl into his arms. At eleven in the morning they had woken up and had just been enjoying each other company since.

"Okay." She obliged to him not wanting her to cry.

"I've seen you cry so much Summer, you don't deserve to have to cry so much."

"You're not helping here Cohen."

"Does this help?" he asked leaning in to kiss her.

"Always."

* * *

"I hate packing!"

"Eliza, calm down, it's just packing." Summer giggled.

Summer and Eliza were packing up there stuff for the flight home Monday morning. The next day the group of teens was heading up to Disney Land, since they had the extra day due to the airline's rescheduling of their flight.

Seth sat idly on Summer's bed as she folding each item of clothing meticulously.

"This is not just packing; this will be the death of me!"

"Maybe if you hadn't doubled your wardrobe while you were here." Seth taunted.

"Hey, this is all your fault," Eliza said, glaring in Seth's direction.

"My fault," he said laughing, "how is this my fault?"

"Because Summer had to come here and see you, and me and Marissa had to go shopping to leave you and Sum alone, and you had to live in Newport where they have better cloths than in Tennessee!"

After her speech Eliza took a deep breath and fell down on Summer's bed next to Seth, letting out a groan.

Seth patter her head jokingly, "There, there Lizzie, everything will be okay."

She was on her way to sending him another death glare, and possibly ripping his arm off when there was a knock at Summer's open door.

"Luke!" Eliza said, happily bouncing up from the bed.

Luke walked in the room, showing that he was carrying a medium sized wheeled suitcase.

"Hey, I brought you this," he said indicating the suitcase towards Eliza.

"Oh my god Luke, how did you know I needed this?"

"Well, I've been in your room and seen your suitcases, and I have also seen all the bags of cloths you bought, remember I had to carry most of them."

"Thanks again for that." Eliza cut in, smiling.

"And I may not be the sharpest crayon in the box, but I get basic physics, so here." He handed her the suitcase.

"Thank you."

Luke leaned in and pecked her on the lips. Summer had to stifle a giggle; she would have never placed these two together in a million years.

"Get packing so we can go out to dinner," Luke shot towards Eliza, "all of us." He finished looking to Seth and Summer.

Instead of following Eliza into her room Luke flopped down next to Seth, his arm overlapping Seth's. Seth slowly turned his head towards Luke's, who tuned his towards Seth at the same time, Luke smirked at Seth, obviously enjoying the awkward position he had put him in. Seth realized Luke was just a little too close for comfort, but before he could turn his head there was a flash of light.

He turned to Summer, and found her giggling, holding a camera.

"Summer, hand over the camera." He said, getting up.

"And risk giving up this homoerotic picture of you and Luke. Hell no!"

"Summer."

"Cohen."

"I would run," he told her.

And run she did, all the way around the house, him at her tail the entire way. When she finally got to his room she was out of breath, collapsing on the bed, he followed her lead, his lips attached to hers in a matter of moments.

The picture was completely forgotten.

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**AN- This chapter has been done for a while, but hadn't been put up because it wasn't edited. It's still not, but I put it up anyway. Next chapter is still fluffy, but the next one has plot line. Reviews will inspire me to write; which I have been in the mood for lately. I really want to get this story done by January. Hopefully it will happen. But I will not give up on it.**


	21. Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

**Thanks to Felicia for editing this chapter while Danielle is away.**

**Disclaimer- I own nothing.**

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"_So bye-bye, Miss American pie. Drove my chevy to the levee, But the levee was dry."_

"Come on Ryan, sing!" Marissa whined, smiling at her boyfriend from the back seat of the car.

"I don't sing Marissa." Ryan said back very sternly.

"Fine," she huffed. "You don't get a single kiss all day!"

Ryan let at a laugh at his girlfriend's expense.

"Like you could really live up to that, all day, especially at the happiest place on earth."

Marissa frowned.

"Hey! I can be firm when I want to."

Ryan took a deep breath.

"_And them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye. Singin', 'this'll be the day that I die. This'll be the day that I die.'" _Sung all six passengers of the car.

* * *

"I cannot believe that I haven't been to Disney land in over three years!" Summer shrieked as the teens walked through the large gates and into the park.

"I cannot believe I have _never_ been here!" Eliza beamed.

Luke looked down at this girl that had sparked a deep, sudden interest in him. Although he had tried not to think about it all week, he knew now that he was going to miss her when she went home, and it saddened him even more to think that, unlike Summer, Eliza really didn't have anything to come back to the west coast for.

Except him.

But he wasn't getting his hopes up, for all he knew, what they had was a simple, meaningless, spring break brought upon, fling. It didn't matter that he thought that, maybe, they could eventually become something more. She lived too far away to ever find out.

It hit him suddenly what Seth must be feeling and then he recognized that what they were going through was a hell of a lot worse than what he was.

"Oh my god, it's Mickey Mouse!" He heard one of the girls scream, bringing him out of his thoughts.

After the six of them found a kind young women to take their picture with the mouse (because after all it _was_ Mickey Mouse, the symbol of Disney Land as Summer had insisted) they were off to enjoy the day.

The group decided to come back to Main Street for shopping just before they left and that they would go around the park counter clock wise starting in adventure land.

The six kids fit into one row on Pirates of the Caribbean, Summer and Seth in the middle. A sudden sadness overwhelmed Summer as their tiny boat took off into darkness. This was the last time she would see these people, besides Eliza, for what would seem like an eternity. But was really three long months.

She might be able to visit over the summer, but what then? She would go back to Tennessee for another year, for her senior year. She knew eventually she could be back for good, but it all seemed like a long, hard road she would have to drive to get there. She felt so tired. She lay her head on Seth's shoulder and watched as statues of pirates took form in front of her.

She could feel Eliza's body shake with laughter as Luke began to sing along with the synthetic pirates. Taking his queue, Seth began to sing, off key, as well. A smile broke out on her face, and she too began to sing quietly.

"Hey," Seth said lightly, looking down on her.

Confusion broke out on her face. Why had he stopped singing?

"What?"

Seth's eyes suddenly became soft. "Are you okay? You look sad."

"I am. But I refuse to let that ruin my wonderful, last…" she almost choked over the word last, "…day with you. So keep singing off key, will ya?"

He did as he was told, not wanting to ask anymore questions he already knew the answers to, or have another conversation so similar to all the ones they had in the last months. They were becoming cliché right under his nose.

He tried not to think about the fact that the smile that was plastered on her face was obviously fake.

* * *

"Marissa, don't even ask me about it, you know what the answer is going to be."

"Pleeeeeeeeease Ryan! It's so my favorite ride here!"

"Come on Atwood. It's her favorite ride here," Summer chimed in, only slightly mocking her best friend.

"I don't believe I told you_ you_ couldn't go on it, I just won't."

"But Ryan, it's not even that high up till the very end! Remember last time we were high up?"

"But that wasn't this high, and then they didn't drop you, like, 1000 miles per hour."

Ryan and Marissa were walking ahead of Seth and Summer, but close enough that their conversation was clear. The second Ryan mentioned the drop, something inside Summer wrenched, and it didn't go unnoticed by Seth.

"Summer?" he asked quickly.

"Do we have to go on this ride?"

"Um, no I guess not. We could keep Ryan company."

She smiled shyly at him.

"I thought you loved this ride."

Summer had never been a fan of falling. She never went on free fall rides, like those towers that shot you up and then all the way back down. Though usally she was fine with Splash Mountain, there was something beneath her feet, and it wasn't a straight shot down. Something had changed from the last time she was here though, something big. Her safety net was gone; the person who had taken an unspoken vow to always protect her was taken from her without reserve.

Now all she had left was air, un-graced by anything to break her fall or to hold her in place. Gravity would pull her down fast and she would hit the ground hard.

So maybe it wasn't falling she was afraid of. Maybe it was not being caught.

As she looked to her left she saw two big brown pairs of eyes looking at her so lovingly and it was then she knew Seth Cohen's arms were always there to catch her, even if it wasn't until the last moment.

* * *

She could feel the small car rock on the old tracks as it swept her into a blurry darkness. Seth's arms grasped protectively at her waist as she sat in between his legs on The Madahorn.

"Get ready for the ride of your life," he whispered seductively in her ear.

"The Madahorn? This is going to be the ride of my life?" Summer replied, unimpressed.

"Oh no baby, tonight, my bedroom, that will be the ride of your life."

"Oh, I'm scared," Summer teased.

Seth pushed his legs tighter against her, making her gasp. "You should be, now hold on."

"For tonight?"

"No for noooooooooooow," he screamed as the ride took a sharp lurch, and off they went.

* * *

The dark sky was lit up with a thousand bright lights in all different colors.

Summer forced herself not to cry, her eyes brimmed with trapped tears. Her only hope was that her friends were too caught up in the firework show to pay attention to her moistened eyes.

Of course, most of them were. Luke and Eliza were paying no attention to the fireworks sparking about their heads. If she weren't afraid of Seth seeing her tear filled eyes, she would ask for the camera so she could freeze the two of them, arms around each other, lips locked together, and the sky full of metaphorical and real fireworks framing them in.

Ryan and Marissa looked to the sky, both lost in the colors before them.

As Summer turned her head slightly to the side she could see Seth staring at her sadly.

Her chest heaved with a deep breath and she turned and looked him directly in the eye, holding his gaze for a moment before breaking away and speaking.

"I don't want to cry anymore."

"Believe me Sum, I really wish you didn't feel the need to anymore."

"I keep going in a circle Cohen. I think I'm happy and then something happens to break me down."

"And right now I'm the one breaking you down."

"No, Seth," she cried, "you're the only thing holding me together."

"Then why are you crying?"

Summer's mouth opened to say something, but no noise was heard.

"Because I keep dragging you back here because I'm too selfish to let you go, right?"

"Don't you dare. Don't you dare ever let me go."

At the sight of her distressed face covered in salty tears Seth had to take Summer into his arms.

"I just don't want you to hurt anymore."

"Then don't leave me."

"Don't go back."

"What?" she said as she pulled away from his chest to look him in the eye.

"Stay here, run away, be with me. Hell, we can even run away together. I know how it's done."

"Seth, don't make me say it."

"I know," he . "I'm sorry, I guess I'll just see you…"

"Summer time, maybe a weekend before then, Christmas break, the next spring break, and then we'll be able to be together." As Summer spoke Seth's face became more and more full of distress. "I know it seems like it's never going to end, and it's just an ongoing circle…"

"But at least circles don't have sharp edges."

She smiled at him before kissing him softly.

"Thank you," she murmured, "for everything."

"Anything for you, I love you."

"I love you too Seth."

They looked up to the sky for a few moments before growing bored and looking to one another once more. They chatted meaninglessly before both their eyes fell on the snuggling couple of Luke and Eliza.

"You know I've never seen Luke look at anyone like that before. Not even Marissa," Seth said.

"Yeah, it's cute," Summer replied before sighing deeply and speaking her thought. "But did I put them in our position?"

"Do you think he likes her half as much as I like you?" Seth asked.

"I think so."

"Then it doesn't matter. It's worth it."

* * *

**Yes, I am a slow updater, I realize. I would love to get this done by January 8th. If I am not able to, it will be done eventually. I refuse to give up this close to the end of the story. Let's see, which should be anywhere from three to five more chapters.**


	22. But You're Way Too Fond for More

**Disclaimer- I own nothing.**

**AN- Thanks again to Felicia for the edit! She's Dru619 on here, check her out.**

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Summer used to hate reading with a passion but now there were only a select few things she loved to do more than loose herself in a book.

Usually she picked tear jerkers, her reason being that it was a good excuse for a good cry, which always ended happily. A few good, classy of course, sex scenes were never frowned upon either.

Therefore, after realizing there was a book version of The Notebook, followed by a sequel and a whole slew of books with the same romance and charm, she became addicted to Nicholas Sparks' way of writing.

Currently, after feeling depressed about returning home and wanting to cry without really crying, Summer was finishing The Rescue.

The male lead in the book was strong, courageous, and somewhat sensitive to the young boy whom he had grown to love. Summer only found one of these traits attractive. She didn't need someone to climb out onto falling trucks or run into burning buildings for her. She needed someone to make her laugh, talk to her, and comfort her. She needed Seth.

Tears were streaming down Summer's face from the recent tragedy that had just struck in the novel, although a few of them were counted for missing a certain curly haired boy.

There was a knock at her open door and Summer looked up to see Eliza standing in the door frame, although she was slightly blurry from Summer's eyes, she could see something was wrong with her, for she too had tears covering her pinked cheeks.

"Eliza?" Summer muffled, pulling back the blanket of the bed she was currently occupying, as if asking Eliza to join her.

Eliza promptly snuggled into the bed as Summer brought her into her arms.

"Liza, please tell me you're not crying this hard over missing Luke."

At Luke's name Eliza let out another hard sob, before coming up to meet Summer's eyes.

"I don't think me missing Luke is going to be a problem anymore Sum," Eliza said, sniffling.

"What, why not?"

"I'm so sorry Summer," Eliza cried.

"Eliza what's going on?" Summer questioned, thoroughly confused.

"I have to move."

"What!"

"To Vancouver."

"No," Summer whined.

"I tried to get my parents to reconsider or even to let me stay here alone. I tried to talk them into anything, my own place, staying with you even, but they won't budge."

"Why?" Summer asked, still shocked.

"The Base here is closing; my dad refuses to resign, so we have to go where he can still train others."

"What about school?"

"They don't care. I told you there only good parents when it's convenient."

"I really, really, really wish you didn't have to go Liza."

"Me either."

"At least you'll be able to see Luke," Summer reasoned. "And it's not like anything is really keeping you here."

"Hey!" Eliza scolded. "I've known Luke for a week, it was just a fling, I love you more."

Summer nodded solemnly before asking the question Eliza knew she wanted answered.

"When are you leaving?"

"Please don't cry Summer," Eliza begged.

"I'm not crying."

"I have to leave tomorrow, my parents packed all my stuff when we were gone."

"Are you kidding me?!"

"I wish I were."

"Why so soon?"

"Something about new recruits. I don't really know, I was too busy crying to listen. Oh Sum I really don't want to go!"

Both girls grasped onto each other tightly, crying into each others shoulders. They finally pulled away from one another.

"I'm going to miss you so much Summer, and you don't deserve what I'm doing to you, what you've been through, you know that right?"

Summer just shrugged.

"You don't, trust me."

This time Summer just nodded.

"Can we just hang out tonight Eliza, like normal, like careless teenagers?"

"I would like nothing more."

"So, we haven't had time to talk about you and Luke," Summer said, putting on a brave, cheerful face.

"What can I say? We have a lot in common," Eliza said wiping her eyes to get rid of the tears. She didn't want to cry yet over her move, right now was for silly gossip and banter.

Summer thought for a moment.

"Just what do you and Luke had in common?" Summer asked jokingly.

"Although I thought the deal was not to get serious tonight, I'll pardon this topic. We both have made major mistakes in our lives, been hurt, hurt people, lost a lot, wrapped cars around poles," Eliza giggled, "and now we've both decided to be different people."

"It wasn't just a fling was it Eliza?" asked Summer.

"I hope not," Eliza giggled flopping back on the bed and covering her blushing face with a pillow.

* * *

"Cohen residence."

"Hey Ryan, it's me. Is Seth there?"

"Hey Summer. Seth's upstairs let me go grab him for you.

"Thanks."

Summer sat at her messy desk trying to clean it up while cradling the phone between her shoulder and her ear.

"Hey Sum," she heard Seth's voice call from the receiver.

"Hey Cohen," she stated casually.

"It's been three days and I already miss you like crazy."

"Thanks. I miss you too," she said absent mindedly while trying to figure out what the piece of paper she was holding in her hand was.

"So," he began. "You didn't answer your cell phone last night."

Summer had to take a deep breath before answering.

"Yeah, well, I was saying goodbye to Eliza. She's gone."

"Gone, like…"

"Moved to Vancouver. So while she and Luke are busy getting it on, I will be here getting lost in romance novels and primetime soap operas."

"Aw, Summer. I'm really sorry."

"Me too," she huffed.

"You don't seem, um. I don't know how to put this…"

"You mean I'm not crying."

"Well, yeah," Seth said.

"I don't want to cry anymore. It doesn't fix anything and it makes my eyes all puffy and my head hurt."

"Well, crying isn't the only way to be upset. You could write, draw, punch something."

"I think from now on I'm just going to go with what ever life brings my way," she said, although her voice was far from happy, maybe even a little angry.

"You will be vibrating at a high frequency?" Seth asked.

"Exactly."

"Well, okay. I mean whatever works for you," Seth said skeptically.

"Mmhmm," she nodded.

"Still though Summer, if you ever need to talk, I'm always here."

"Yeah, I know," Summer breathed quickly.

"Listen Seth I have a lot to do, so I will talk to you later okay?"

"Um, yeah, sure. I love you."

"Yeah, you too. Bye."

* * *

**Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaase Review!**


	23. Through This Life You Aimlessly Wander

**Disclaimer- I own nothing.**

**AN- A triple thanks to Felicia for the third edit.**

**

* * *

**

**xCaptainOatsx**: Summer! Hey, are you okay?

**LtlMsVixn**: _Why wouldn't I be?_

**xCaptainOatsx**: Because we haven't talked in over and week and you refuse to answer my calls.

**LtlMsVixn**: _We are talking now._

**xCaptainOatsx**: Okay, so how are you? Without Eliza?

**LtlMsVixn**: _I prefer not to think about it._

**xCaptainOatsx**: Can I call you.

**LtlMsVixn**: _Actually, The Valley should be on in about three and a half minutes. _

**xCaptainOatsx**: Is it a really important episode or something?

**LtlMsVixn**: _Yes Seth, I'm waiting to find out if April and Jake both get into Princeton. _

**xCaptainOatsx**: Could you tape it?

**LtlMsVixn**: _No! Then I wouldn't be able to talk on the message boards!_

**xCaptainOatsx**: Summer please.

**LtlMsVixn**: _Please what Seth?_

**xCaptainOatsx**: I need to talk to you.

**LtlMsVixn**: _I'll call you when I'm not busy._

LtlMsVixn is away.

**xCaptainOatsx**: I love you.

Auto Response from LtlMsVixn: _In the words of Edna St. Vincent Millay "__It's not true that life is one damn thing after another; it is one damn thing over and over.__"_

Seth wanted to cry as he pushed his keyboard away from himself and moped down the stairs.

He found Ryan sitting at the kitchen table writing furiously on a pad of paper. Seth slumped down in a chair across from Ryan and began tapping on the table lightly, cunningly trying to gain Ryan's attention.

"Give me three and a half minutes Seth and I promise I am all ears till dinner."

"Three and a half minutes!" Seth whined slumping his head down on the table.

"Seth," Ryan scolded.

When Ryan was done with his homework, which turned out to be only two minutes and forty seven seconds later (Seth knew for he had been timing it) Seth immediately started his ramble.

"I know these rambles usually consist of my selfishness, but this time I don't even care that Summer refuses to talk to me, or answer my calls, or was snappy to me the two times we have talked since she's been back in Tennessee. Nope, Ryan I don't even notice that she refuses to say that she loves me and the thought that she may have found a new, more attractive, stronger, more popular guy to hold her while she cries hasn't even crossed my mind."

Ryan threw Seth a look as if saying, 'yeah right', and Seth nodded furiously in agreement.

"Okay, maybe the thought has crossed my mine, but that isn't the big issue here. Nope Ryan, for once the big issue is Summer."

"Understood."

"I'm scared for her Ryan. She lost everything, and now Eliza too!"

"I know Seth, life's been rough on her. She will be okay though, I mean look how many people she has that love her."

"I know but we're not there Ryan, I can't do anything if she won't answer my calls."

"Maybe she's grieving." Ryan reasoned.

"This isn't how she usually grieves. She's a crier, needs to be comforted. She needs to know someone is there for her, but I can't be there for her if she won't talk to me. Maybe I should talk to her grandparents."

"I think you're jumping the gun a little bit Seth. Summer has had a lot of blows in a really short amount of time. She's trying a different approach to grieving."

"But she's scaring me Ryan."

"How about you give it a week see how it goes and get back to me."

"Okay, I guess that will work."

Seth stood to leave the kitchen, but just as he was about to exit, he turned back.

"Hey Ryan?"

"Yeah Seth?"

"Do you ever get the feeling I should be paying you by the hour or something?"

"All the time," Ryan deadpanned.

"Just making sure we were on the same page here."

* * *

A whole week had gone by and still no call from Summer. Seth had decided not to call her until she called him. But after three days he gave in, calling her once a day for the next four days. She never answered. Now, it had been 7 days since he had talked to her. 168 hours since he heard her voice. 10080 minutes since he asked her how she was. 604800 seconds since he told her he loved her.

Now, Seth was determined to talk to her. This time he decided to call her home phone, in hopes of being connected through her grandparents. When her grandmother answered she politely (she had grown quite accustomed to Seth now that he was hundreds of miles away) told him that Summer was in her bedroom, and that she would go and get her for him. Summer then had no choice but to talk to her boyfriend.

"Seth, why didn't you call my cell phone?" were the first words from her mouth.

"Because you don't answer your cell phone when I call it," Seth quipped

"Sorry I've been busy."

"Oh that's good I guess. Tell me what you've been up to," Seth spoke, trying to get the call into easy conversational territory.

"Nothing really. Why did you call?" Summer asked, annoyed.

"For this. So you could tell me what you have been up to, how you've been doing. I just called to talk to you Summer."

"I don't feel like talking. How many times have told you that?" She huffed at him.

Seth heard a beep on his phone indicating another caller was trying to get a hold of him. He decided to ignore it.

"I don't understand Summer. You went from telling me you never wanted to leave me, to this never wanting to talk to me stuff."

"People change Seth."

There was the beep again on his line, which was still ignored.

"Not you, not that fast. I don't understand, what happened to never wanting to be apart. I know you've had it rough…"

"I'm sick and tired of people pointing out how 'rough' my life has been. Don't you think I know that? Life, life happened Seth. I had to leave you, I was forced to. Now I have no one…"

"You have me!"

"No I don't. You can't help me if your not here."

"I'm here now!"

"No your not, you're on the phone now! You're barley even my boyfriend anymore!"

"Summer," Seth said softly.

"I have to go Seth."

With that Summer clicked off the phone and lay back into her bed. She refused to cry.

When Seth clicked shut his phone, it beeped at him that he had one new voice message. Checking it, he couldn't have been more surprised at whose voice he heard on the other line.

* * *

**This probably won't be done by the 8th, but it will be done soon. The more reviews I get, the faster I will put the next chapter up. Bribery is not below me. Lol.**


	24. Trying to Forget This Clandestine War

**Disclaimer- I own nothing.**

**AN- I was impatient, Danielle was busy. Felicia edited, super thanks. But we still love Dani too. So I love you both.**

* * *

Summer's feet pushed down smoothly on the brake pedal. Putting the car into park she turned off the ignition.

She had never been to this place before but she figured it was time for a change. Karen's Diner and the local pizzeria smelled too much like oil and grease for her queasy stomach. She couldn't sit in the Von's down the street or the Arcade next to it. The big Bloomingdales reminded her too much of Newport these days and the guy in the video store started giving her shifty eyes a couple of days ago. She needed a new place to be and this was it.

Funny, she thought, that when she actually had a friend here she had always wanted to be at home. Now that she was alone she was always out on the town in some restaurant or shop. Her grandparents never knew where she was but she found beauty in that. Somehow she was defying them even if it was only to go sit in the park and watch the little girls with pigtails and braids play with their dolls in the sand.

This new place she found inspired her. It was up on a cliff, hidden by pine trees and weeping willows. The lake below her stretched out far enough to be breath taking, but small enough to fool her into believing she still held some significance in this world.

Summer wrapped her petite body in a cotton sweatshirt and heavy coat. Settling herself on a large rock she pulled out a book to read. This time it was Emma, a classic Jane Austin novel she had found on her grandfathers book shelf. She had decided to flip through it before she fell in love. She felt almost as though she was part of some worldly secret reading this book. Everyone knew about Pride and Prejudice, even if it was only because of how old and boring it was. But Emma was a secret treasure only for those who really loved it.

The words fluttered through her mind, tangling with her emotions like colors in a sunset. Back at her grandparent's home her books were scattered about her room, worn and dog eared from usage. That was exactly how Summer wanted them to look. Like old friends who had been through hell and back together. Books became her passion; she didn't have time to think while reading them, unlike television where she found her thoughts swimming away. Her books could be found lying open and in small piles everywhere you looked around Summer's small room. They were scattered without a category and read without a care, unlike her school books which sat tucked away in a neat pile on the corner of her desk.

As Emma played with her young nieces and nephews Summer's phone began to vibrate softly in her coat pocket.

Reaching for it she saw it was just Seth calling again and choose to ignore him. But as she was doing so the white letters flashing the name 'Cohen' in her face began to taunt her. When the call was stopped she quickly wiped away the word 'Cohen' and in its place typed 'Seth'.

Seth was a creepy boy who had pined for her all his life. Seth read comics and played video games. Seth cracked jokes and talked to a plastic horse.

Cohen, on the other hand, was the boy who had loved her forever. Cohen was the one who stood on coffee carts and made a fool of himself for her. Cohen loved her.

Seth was no one. Cohen was hers.

And it was just too hard to recognize him as that when she couldn't be with him.

Looking up from her phone to stop the tears threatening to fall, she took notice of her surroundings.

No homes could be seen from her view, except for tiny colored dots in the background. Beneath the trees and atop the cliffs she was secluded from the terrors of the world in this place.

The cliffs were tall and wide. Rocks feel to sharp depths daily from them. She could jump off of and possibly never be found. These cliffs could take away her pain.

Tears burst hot and suddenly from her eyes as she bounded back to her car and drove away from her new found hideaway.

The thought that had just spiraled through her head created a fear and disappointment in her she had never felt before.

She knew she would never come back here or think of this day again.

* * *

Joy spread through Seth's body as his phone jiggled on the counter, the caller ID telling him it was from Summer.

"Summer, hey…" Seth began before being loudly interrupted by her screams.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me Anna was back in town Seth Cohen!"

"Whoa, Summer calm down."

"No, you lied to me."

Seth had to control his anger, trying to remember who he was talking to.

"No I did not."

"Yes, you did. I talked to Marissa today and she said Anna is back and you two have been hanging out."

This was very all so unusually typical to Summer. High school and boy drama wrapped into one. It was so contrary to what she had been dealing with lately. Yet it was so similar to the drama that had captivated so many years of her life.

These thoughts clashed so deeply with those that had immersed her yesterday.

She didn't know whether to revel in it, or run away.

"Hung out," chimed Seth, "as in once. And I did not lie to you, if you would have answered any of my calls I made in the last two days you would have known she was back and if you had talked to me in the last week you would have known I talked to her, about you, and about how worried I am about you, but you didn't so don't accuse me of lying."

"Are you going to get back together with her?"

"What!" Seth huffed, agape. "No Summer, but even if I did what would you care, I mean, I'm barley even your boyfriend anymore." The second the words graced Seth's lips, he wanted to take them back.

"You know what Seth? Go be with her!"

"Summer, I didn't mean that," Seth said softly.

"Yeah you did. I can't stop you if you want to be with her," Summer said her voice still angry.

"I don't want to be with her Summer."

"Are you sure, because last time you picked her, and I was just your second choice!" she screamed.

"I don't want her Summer, I never wanted her, you know that. You weren't my second choice. I don't care about Anna. I'm not ever going to want to be with her."

"Why not? She's perfect for you!"

"No she's not Summer!"

"Why?!"

"Because I love you! You Summer, and that's never going to change, no matter how badly you want it to!"

"I have to go," she cried.

"No, Summer, don't hang up."

But it was too late.

Seth slammed his phone shut and stomped his way down the stairs and into the living room. There, Ryan and Marissa sat.

"You had to go and open your big mouth didn't you," he told Marissa.

"What are you talking about Seth?"

"You told Summer about Anna!" he said, his voice rising steadily.

"It came up in conversation. Plus she has a right to know."

"Yeah, from me, that way she wouldn't think I was hiding it from her!"

"Seth, she didn't do anything wrong," Ryan broke in.

"She wasn't answering your calls Seth," Marissa said, now standing along with Ryan.

"And now she never will! This wasn't any of your business Marissa!"

"Hey! She's my friend too!"

"Really? I didn't see you trying to keep her here; I didn't see you holding her when she cried for hours and hours after her dad died!"

"She always had you!"

"Yeah, and now thanks to you she doesn't."

"Seth!" shouted Ryan, "What is your problem?"

"You know what; nothing, just leave me alone."

Seth made his way back up to his room, slamming his door hard and falling back on the bed. Warm tears dripped from his eyes as someone rapped on the door.

"I said leave me alone!" he yelled, trying to cover up his scratchy throat.

The knocker defied his plea and came into the room anyway.

"Anna," he crooned, "what are you doing here?"

"I heard what you said to Marissa."

Seth sighed before covering his face with his hands.

"Are you really that mad?"

"No," Seth said solemnly.

Anna's mouth hung open in thought as she waited for him to continue.

"I'm scared," he finished.

"For Summer?"

Seth slowly nodded. "So much Anna, you don't even understand."

"Maybe you just need to let her go," Anna stated.

"What?!" said a disbelieved Seth.

"She's spiraling downward Seth. The last thing you need is to be taken down with her."

"Is that what you were taught growing up? Leave the people you love when they need you the most," Seth asked, standing angrily.

"Seth she's just a high school girlfriend."

"_Just_. Really? You think what Summer and I have is just a high school fling?"

"Face the facts Seth. Almost zero percent of high school sweethearts grow old together. You don't need to ruin your life for a girl who doesn't hold the cards to your future."

"Okay, Anna. Let's say we don't grow old together. I love her now. And now is what matters. Now she is alone, now she is having an extremely hard time getting back on her feet, now she needs me."

Anna just stared at Seth solemnly.

"Plus," Seth continued. "I couldn't even imagine giving up on her."

"Maybe she already made that choice for you."

Quizzically, Seth looked at Anna for a moment.

"Do you have some motive as to why you want me to abandon her?"

Anna took a long moment of silence before answering.

"Even if I did, it wouldn't matter would it?"

Seth sighed before speaking. "No."

"In my opinion, there isn't a whole lot you can do if she won't let you," Anna said.

"That's the thing about love Anna. That doesn't matter, I still have to try."

"I know," she huffed.

For different reasons tonight both of their tempers were short, and neither was making a point of hiding it.

"Listen Anna," Seth began. "I'm sorry if you still have resentment towards me, and I'm sorry I ever hurt you."

"No your not," she said sadly. "Because then you wouldn't be with Summer."

"I didn't say I was sorry for how things turned out, and I said I was sorry I had hurt you to get things that way."

"You know I always thought you deserved so much better than Summer Roberts."

"I didn't."

"I know. And that's why you're like this now. Worrying your big goofy heart out for her and being all neurotic."

"Small price to pay."

"I guess it's a good kind of neurotic."

"Thanks."

"There is a flight out to Pittsburg tomorrow and I think I'm gonna take it."

Seth just nodded, waving to her as she walked out of the door.

"And Seth," she said as she stepped into the hallway. "I can only hope for someone who would care as much for me as you do for Summer."

He smiled as she left. For an instant the thought crossed his mind that if Anna was in the same situation as Summer, he probably wouldn't care as much. For the simple reason that she wasn't Summer.

There were so many times in the past that Seth had wished he let go of Anna and chosen Summer the second she made it clear she would let him. That way they could have spent more time together, had less drama.

But that was all in the past and now Seth had a new dilemma on his hands. One he wasn't about to give up on him.

If he got one thing out of tonight, it was that he loved Summer probably more than he thought, and he wasn't about to lose her, or have her lose herself.

Fresh tears flowed from his eyes.

* * *

**PLEASE review, I have editing to do on the next chapter, and I'm back in school, so the more reviews, the faster the update, if anyone even wants an update.**

**Yeah, I know brining Anna back doesn't seem like the most plot moving thing, but it helped me out a little.**


	25. You're Spiraling Downward Fast

**Disclaimer- I own nothing.**

**AN- This is a bonus chapter written with inspiration from one of my vocabulary words. We only have two more chapters to go. Please review.**

**Danielle is too busy to edit, so thanks again to Felicia. **

* * *

The bar was frowzy and grungy and thick grey smoke hung in the air. It mixed brutally with the stench of alcohol on drunken breaths and sweat on slutty bodies.

The music curled into Summer's ears as she rocked her body in rhythm to it, as did the man pressing up against her back. She swirled around, wanting to feel someone's hot flesh on her bare palms. The man was taller than her, taller than Seth. His dark, almost black eyes were covered with a fog of intoxication, and his dark chocolate skin simmered in the moving lights of the dance floor.

Summer had never done something like this since she had moved here, since she had lost herself. But, she thought, she would probably have to start doing it more. That night, around eight o'clock Summer had decided that tomorrow her mind would not be up to listening to teachers squabble about why Hamlet didn't kill Claudius when he had the perfect chance. She had never liked Wednesdays, so why bother making it worse by attending her scum of a school?

And that is how she found herself here, in the sleaziest bar in Tennessee. Men, along with some women, went topless. Alcohol was at a free flow and there was never a shortage of hookups after the bar closed. All Summer had to do to get in was hike up her already short skirt and nudge the bouncer where it counted.

She guessed it was probably around 2:30 am at this point in time and she could tell the man she was dancing with was getting anxious to take her back to his apartment, or his car, or even the run down hotel across the street. If Summer hadn't refused so many of the beers that were offered to her that night she would probably be leading the way. Luckily she had decided that after two beers her tiny body was smashed enough.

She didn't want to ruin her life in this one night. She wasn't like Marissa. Slow and steady, that was Summer's way.

Summer had vowed a long time ago never to be like her mother. Her cheating, unloving, scum of a mother. She was probably still out in the world, unaware of the daughter she had who was close to following in her own footsteps. No, she would never cheat like her mother had, and she wasn't sure if she was still in a standing relationship or not.

As dark curls and deep eyes flashed through her mind the man's hands began to travel all over her body, up her shirt and along the waist band of her skirt. The fast rocking of her hips stopped as a sweet smile flickered into her mind. The man's smile above her wasn't kind, wasn't seductive, it was cruel, and another cruel smile was brought back from a memory. A blond boys cruel smile. She pushed the man's hands away harshly. He let go easier then she expected he would. Slowly she pushed through mounds of people till she reached the exit. Looking back through the smoky fog she could see the man who she had been dancing with. He looked defeated, but didn't follow her.

She let out a deep, raged breath.

She cried as she carried her drunken body three blocks back to her car, afraid that the next time she wouldn't have the power to make herself get away.

* * *

"Where have you been?!" shouted Linda Roberts as she stomped over to her granddaughter who was currently walking through the front door.

"Uh, school," Summer replied.

"Try again," her grandfather cut in.

"I don't…" Summer began, at a loss for words.

"You didn't come home last night Summer. And then we called and your school told us you never showed up today! We were about to call the cops!"

"Oh, sorry," Summer said, her voice sounding sincere.

"Where were you?" Her grandfather asked.

"Out," was her simple reply.

"Out where?"

"Just out," she breathed. Her body was tired and sore. The image of her bed that played in her mind seemed like heaven.

"This is not a time for jokes Summer Roberts, you could have died!"

"It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world," Summer said under her breath.

"What?" Her grandmother questioned her voice soft and wavering.

"I said I can take care of myself."

"Please tell me you were not out with some boy." Greg asked, clearly missing the exchange that just took place.

"No! I was not!"

"Because Summer so many things can happen if you…"

"I was not out with a boy! The only boy I would sleep with you took away from me, remember?" she hissed.

Linda look towards her husband, as if saying 'I'll handle this' as Summer stomped down the stairs. Linda quickly followed.

"Summer please," she pleaded as Summer stopped at her door.

"We need to talk."

"About what?" Summer asked.

"I know you used to see a therapist."

"I stopped going last summer; she never really did anything for me, except tell me to work out my aggression with violence."

"Well, maybe after everything you've been through you would like to talk to someone again, a professional."

"I don't think that will be necessary."

"You need to talk to someone Summer. God knows you can't talk to me, and with Eliza gone, plus, I never hear you talking on the phone anymore. Maybe a therapist will help."

"It won't. There is nothing anyone can say to me that will make me feel any better. I'm just too messed up," Summer quipped.

"Well then…"

"No," Summer said immediately, knowing where her grandmother was going, "I will not resort to medication, not like my step mom."

"Summer, you are not okay."

"I am fine!"

"But you just said…"

"I'm fine!" Summer yelled, slamming her door and locking it, leaving her grandmother at a loss for what to do next.


	26. Then He Comes and Saves You at Last

**I own nothing. **

* * *

"Cohen residence," Kirsten's feminine voice sung into the phone.

"Hi, Kirsten. It's Linda Roberts."

"Oh, hello Linda. How are you?"

"I'm fine," she started, hesitating before she spoke her next words, "it's Summer I'm worried about."

"Oh," Kirsten replied, immediately concerned for the young girl.

"We got a call from her school today, apparently she can't miss another class or she won't pass this semester, and all her grades are very low C's. Not to mention attitude problems. I didn't even have a clue she wasn't doing her homework or ditching her classes. And then, last night," the older women took a raged breath, "she didn't come home at all. She came back this afternoon, but I don't even know what where she was. One minute she admits to being depressed and angry, the next she denies it. I don't know what to do Kirsten. I guess I just don't know her, and you were the only one I could think of that might have some sort of idea of what I should do," Linda cried.

"That doesn't seem like something Summer would do."

"I don't even know my own granddaughter well enough to say that."

"If you want my advice, talk to her. Summer has been through so much in such a short amount of time. And now with this last blow of her friend moving away, she's given up. She needs to know that you are there for her, she needs to know someone cares about her."

"How do I even begin that conversation? She doesn't seem upset when she's at home."

"What does she do?" Kirsten asked, concerned for Summer's well being.

"I don't know, she eats with us, makes conversation. She's gotten very into books, has a new one every time I see her. Which I have to admit is only about once a day, besides her back going out the door; I thought it was a good thing."

"Where does she go when she leaves?"

"I don't even know. But she never comes home drunk or disheveled."

"Just because your child isn't doing the things that are obviously bad for her doesn't mean she's okay. Summer is usually a social person, loosing herself in books isn't good for her, she's hiding from something, so she find shelter in books."

"How do you know so much? I raised a son, he turned out pretty good." Linda asked.

"Well for starters my mom was a therapist," both women let out a small laugh, "but I also know my boys, and Summer."

"Maybe I should have taken the time to get to know her before dragging her out here."

"If it's any consolation," Kirsten reassured, "I think I would have done the same thing."

Linda smiled and there was a moment of silence before she spoke again.

"One more thing Kirsten, has Seth maybe said anything, anything Summer might have mentioned to him."

"Seth and Summer aren't exactly on speaking terms. She isn't answering his calls and when she does it ends badly."

"That's not good, is it?"

"Linda," Kirsten began, "If Seth is worried about Summer, and I mean really, really worried about her. You should be too."

* * *

"Summer, this phone has rung six times in a row! I don't care if you don't want to talk to him, at least tell him to stop calling, he isn't listening to me!" Greg Roberts huffed at his granddaughter.

"Can't you just unplug the phone?" She asked shrilly.

"No!" He yelled, thrusting the cordless into her hands.

"Seth, you're giving my grandfather grey hair." Summer looked at he grandfather's angry face, "More grey hair."

She padded her way down the stairs and closed the door of her room behind her.

"What do you want Seth?" She growled.

"Your grandma called my mom earlier." He stated simply.

"What! Why?"

"Apparently you're the devil child now, and she doesn't know how to deal with you without driving a steak through your heart."

"Isn't that vampires, Seth?"

"It doesn't matter," Seth said, getting serious. "What matters is that the fact that your grandmother is worried about you, make me even more worried about you."

"Seth, I don't need anyone to be worried about me, I'm fine," Summer said softly.

"Not according to your grandmother."

"She's just paranoid."

"And your school is just paranoid too? Skipping school? Failing classes? That isn't you Sum."

"Yeah, because school is _so_ enjoyable with all my friends. I can do the work they give me in a second; I pass the tests without even studying. This isn't Harbor Seth, it's easy."

"Not according to your grades."

"I'm not stupid Seth and you of all people should know that. I have three weeks left of school, I won't ditch anymore and I'll pass with C's. I was never going to fail. I know what I'm doing so you don't have to worry."

"But I am worried, and not just about your grades. I'm worried about you. You didn't come home last night Summer! What was that about, were you okay, did something happen, I can help, I care Summer, and I'm worried."

"Well don't be. Just go fret about Anna or something." She sounded annoyed, but her voice was still soft with sadness.

"You are not bringing Anna up again are you?" Seth huffed.

"Why shouldn't I, she's probably right there next to you."

"Try in Pittsburg."

"What?"

"Maybe if you had listened to me instead of accusing me of cheating on you, or not cheating on you, depending on what mood you're in, you would have known she was here for a week, to visit her parents, nothing more. You know this not talking to me is causing more problems than its worth. Please can we go back to talking to each other everyday? Maybe it would help you get through school and stuff. "

"I don't need you telling me what's wrong in my life or how I can fix it."

"Maybe you do Summer!"

"Don't talk to me like that!"

"Like what, like I care about you more than you even know."

"No! Like I'm some poor soul that needs your saving, I can take care of myself!"

"Well, no offense Summer but you're not doing a very good job!"

"I'm doing an incredible job," she shrieked into the receiver, "for everything I've been through I think I'm just fine and dandy."

"Yeah! Well I don't!"

"And why do you think that you matter so much!"

"Because I love you!" Seth screamed. "And I know you deserve so much better!"

"Yeah, well what I deserve and what I have are two totally different things! Everything in my life has fallen apart! And I think I'm doing a swell job of keeping myself together!"

"Once again, I don't!"

"Am I dead yet Seth, am I a drunk, or a drug addict? Am I in jail? I'm not a prostitute or a runaway! So what if I don't want to go to school or what if I love driving around to random places just to get my mind off how incredibly fucked up my life is!"

"This isn't you Summer! You're scaring the living hell out of me and I don't know what else to do! I'm so fucking scared for you!" Seth cried at her.

"Good! Good because you should be!" she yelled. Summer took a deep breath and let out a hard sob before saying her next words very softly, "you should be because I'm so scared for me too."

There was a long pause as the two young lives let Summer's words sink in.

"Summer," Seth cooed.

"I wanna come home Cohen," she sobbed. "Please take me home."

"Summer, I don't know what to say to that."

They were both quiet for a long while. Summer began to let the soft rhythm of Seth's breath steady her own. Her tears slowed just as a small knock was heard at her door.

"I have to call you back Cohen," she whispered solemnly.

"Please don't Sum, I don't want to hang up with you."

"No, it's okay, there is just something I have to do," her voice was raspy with more tears.

"Okay," he said, preparing to hang up.

"Wait Cohen!" she said quickly.

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"You have no idea how amazing it is to hear you say that."

As she softly closed her phone Summer tried to take deep breaths to slow her tears, but nothing worked, so she gave up, and made her way to her door.

As she opened it slowly and looked up she found her grandmother standing there with a face ready to cry.

"I heard everything Summer," she stated.

Summer stood looking deeply into her grandmothers eyes before she shook her head, working up the courage to speak.

"Then please let me go home," Summer begged softly. "Please."

As a fresh wave of tears hit both women Summer collapsed into her grandmothers arms. Softly Linda stroked Summer's head, whispering into her ear.

"I will."

* * *

**OMG I cannot believe I am so close to being done with this story.**

**Please Please Please review, in memory of out beloved OC!**


	27. AUTHORS NOTE!

_**I'm sorry that this year has been so incredibly busy and I have not been able to finish this story yet, believe me when I say that I myself am incredibly sad that I am not able to write, and therefore you are not able to read.**_

_**I have the first half of the last chapter of this story written, as I had planed to only write one more chapter for this story, but since I have been getting reviews lately saying PLEASE UPDATE! I think I will have to write one more chapter, making this story have two more chapters instead of the scheduled one.**_

_**Unfortunately these won't be up until sometime after the 7th, probably not even until after the 9th. Of June that is. I have things going on (school, family visiting, vacation) until the 9th, and it being up by then is assuming I actually have time to write. I can def promise they will be up before the end of June though.**_

_**If you guys can wait three or four weeks for the end let me know and I will work hard to give you TWO new chapters. If not, I will quickly finish up the last one and have it up, although I make no promises, between now and possibly the 9th.**_

_**I would love to write two if you guys want me too!**_


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